Am I deluded to believe I could have a future with a man I dated 15 years ago?

Ask Roe: My rational mind finds it difficult to understand why I cannot, or will not, forget about him

You do not need this man to create a fulfilling life for yourself. That’s the delusion you need to leave behind. I promise, a better reality is waiting. Photograph: Getty Images

You do not need this man to create a fulfilling life for yourself. That’s the delusion you need to leave behind. I promise, a better reality is waiting. Photograph: Getty Images

Dear Roe,

Two years ago, I contacted my first boyfriend to tell him that I was in still in love with him. We were boyfriends for two years in our early 20s, and we are now in our late 30s and in long-term relationships. He moved abroad 15 years ago, and we had been in touch a few times. To my surprise, he responded telling me that he was still in love with me but that distance would make any reunion difficult. We subsequently met a few times for dinner, behaving like boyfriends, but agreeing to leave our future together as an open question.

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