‘My dad passed away this year. My home is where he lies’

Last November, The Irish Times invited Irish readers living abroad to submit their reflections on their relationship with the land they left in the 'Ireland and Me' competition. The story below is one of the entries we received, which is collected in a new 'Ireland and Me' eBook.

I left Ballymun on July 23rd 1989 on a one way ticket to New York. If I had a return ticket I would have utilised it after 20 minutes in JFK.

My ultimate destination was Havertown, a suburb of Philadelphia where I would join my sister who emigrated five years earlier. I was 28 years old. I lived with her, got work as a landscaper, and very quickly settled into a life of work and drink.

While I met a very nice bunch of young Irish folk, most of whom remain my very good friends today, I did not settle well. I missed my family and friends, and my GAA club Ballymun Kickhams too.

Some much needed organisation was put on my new life when I met Lynn, my wife now of 20 years. We have a beautiful 15-year-old daughter. I now have a successful career in healthcare, and get back to Ballymun regularly enough.

I have done everything I can to make Havertown my home but to this day it is still only where I live. I tried coaching a GAA team here and while we had moderate success I was never 100 per cent committed to it; my first and only love was and still is Ballymun Kickhams.

In the early 1990s while coaching here, my mind would always drift back to Kickhams because of the struggles they were having with the juvenile section at the time. I often felt like dropping everything and going back to help. Thankfully they managed without me, and today the club is thriving again.

I’m not quite sure if the internet made me insane or preserved my sanity. I read the Irish papers every day and have RTÉ Radio on in the office and car. Knowing what I know about the happenings in Dublin I appreciate my very nice house that I don’t have to lock at night, great schools, every amenity a man could need within walking distance and the best of friends any man could ask for.

And yet I still long for a life back in Ireland. I think the answer to my question is, the internet has made me insane.

My dad passed away earlier this year. I was there when he died but only got to see him for about an hour before the pain killers kicked in and he closed his eyes for the last time. I told him I loved him, never told him that when he was alive and kicking. I hope he knew it.

I will be home again in a few days and will tell him again. My home is where he lies, where my mam and my brothers live and where Kickhams play. Havertown is where I live with my beautiful family that I love very much.

I can’t explain it but it’s the way it is.

For more 'Ireland and Me' stories, click here. The Irish Times eBook of selected entries is available for download here.