My ‘funeral with an old flame’ beauty product has to be mascara
Marian Keyes has a few things to say about Shiseido Full-lash Multi-Dimensional Mascara
Marian Keyes: 'A mermaid blanket operates like a zipless sleeping bag, but unlike a sleeping bag, it’s beautiful.' Photograph: Alan Betson
People frequently ask me what beauty product would I take to a desert island? And my answer is, ‘In the name of God, why would I want any beauty product on a desert island?’ My priorities would be more towards the food and drink end of things.
A far more pertinent question would be, ‘If you were at a social event, like a funeral where you wouldn’t be expected to be glammied up and you ran into someone who caught your fancy. [Could happen, funerals are often highly febrile places. Sex and death are closely linked. Just saying.] Or worse still, someone who knew you when you were young and hot. And you hadn’t a scrap of make-up on you because like, it’s a funeral. So, briskly you excuse yourself from the hang sangwidges and pints of Smithwicks - and what one beauty product are you praying to find rolling around in the debris in the bottom of your bag, in amongst the receipts and chewing gums and leaking pens?”
Well it has to be a mascara, right? Right!
That needed-in-extremis product used to be foundation. Then it used to be lipstick. For a while it was blusher. But right now my Funeral with an Old Flame Product is mascara.
However, please listen to me because this is a truth that dares not speak its name: it’s almost impossible to find a great ‘all-rounder’ mascara. The one that’s brilliant at volumising might not be so great at lengthening might not be the best at curling might not deliver optimum lash separation.
However, the Shiseido Full-Lash Multi-Dimensional Mascara makes a pretty good stab at ticking all the boxes. Also! The wand ‘clicks’ to a 30 degree angle, which is useful for reaching any lashes which live at a tricky angle.
Frankly, the ‘click’ alone makes me happy. It practically counts as a micro-hobby and I do it compulsively when I’m feeling anxious. It truly IS an all-rounder mascara.