‘We take too many showers. It's an American import’

Confession time. I hate getting wet. I don’t mean getting caught in a torrential shower of rain, although that wouldn’t be my idea of a good night out either, but I’m referring to washing myself. My idea of misery is a “long, hot soak in a bath.” But wait! Loads of you will be backing away and thinking “Eeeeeewww” but please come back. I do actually wash myself. I know my duties as a member of society.

Although, frankly I think we have far too many showers. If you ask me, it’s an American import, it feels like every second line in any US drama is, “I’ll just take a shower.” One more example of cultural imperialism, like the way they’re trying to make the SuperBowl a thing. (But that might just be me trying to justify my water-averse impulses.)

I’m hoping to live long enough for human beings to evolve into being “self-cleaning”. (Details are sketchy. Something to do with a special lacquer on our skin, maybe. Anyway! That’s a job for The Scientists.)

Meanwhile, every morning, “The Shower” feels like a massive battle I have to fight and win before I’m entitled to my porridge.

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However, I’m not entirely without resources in this David-and-Goliath style battle and it’s all about the right shower gel.

First, a few words on the wrong shower gels. Although many people are all about the citrus, I experience lemon-flavoured shower gel as an aggressively perky, boot-camp tyrant shouting de-motivating motivational quotes at me. (“Get out there and KILL at life!”)

Which brings me to Seavite SuperNutrient Bath and Shower Gel. Made from seaweed extract, marine minerals and plant oils from the west coast of Ireland, the smell reminds me of the sea and happy childhood holidays in Co Clare. It is lovely and noticeably lifts my mood, from dread-filled and knackered to calm and hopeful.

As an added bonus, instead of leaving my skin parched and in gasping need of body cream, it gives a soft moisturised finish, so there’s no need to try (and fail) to muster the energy to slather on some gear.

Also, it’s so pure that it’s suitable if you or a loved one are misfortunate enough to suffer from eczema or rosacea. In fact, Seavite also do shampoo, conditioner and an entire skin-care range, I would particularly recommend the really fabulous serum.

But right now, it’s the shower gel that’s my saviour, my daily helping hand across the abyss.