There are plenty of fumbles going on over in Casa Amor on Love Island (Virgin Media Two), where all the boys’ brains have emptied like slowly deflating lilos. Two weeks can feel like two years in that Lynx-smelling pit but the bout of selective amnesia caused by the influx of new girls into the villa is particularly chilling. Jacques, who has the permanent air of a man at a stag do who’s been refused a drink, is giving a masterclass in toxicity.
Having shouted, pouted, cried and wheedled his way into Paige’s affections, prescribing her with just the right amount of insecurities, he is about to “stick it on” another of the girls who is ready to guzzle down his virulent cocktail of aggression and banter. Meanwhile the boys of the Casa have wasted no time in telling Paige some uncomfortable truths. She is now left wondering if being repeatedly disrespected on national telly by a sentient tub of protein powder is worth it.
Not that Ireland’s own Dami Hope has behaved any better. A week ago Dami and Indiyah were odds-on favourites to win the whole shebang due to the unbelievable development that they actually appeared to like each other. Personable and witty Dami won over Indiyah through the force of his charisma and seemed to be happy to spend the rest of his holiday watching the other couples implode, until this week.
Sadly, Dami is another Love Island mirage, when Summer arrived into the villa it caused his head to turn so violently it could have been a deleted scene from the Exorcist. His demeanour has also changed, clicking into “lad” mode, conspiratorially poking Jacques in the ribs, jumping all over the sofas and lashing out at Nick Cave’s fishmonger Luca, who he accused of holding Michael Owen’s daughter hostage.
Love Island will always shoehorn in some celebrity link to give the viewers that familiar IP, the more tenuous the better. I cannot wait for Kerry Katona’s budgie to fly in for the recoupling next week.
Dami may have been correct about the over-possessive Luca but he has lost the all-important public support. Our only chance for some Irish success rests on the painfully pale shoulders of Ronan Keating’s son Jack, but since he has been M.I.A (presumably he’s been kept in a vat of Calamine Lotion until the sun sets) it doesn’t look likely he’ll have the opportunity to charm any of the girls and nab a spot in the main villa.
It’s up to Love Island’s main character, the glorious Turkish delight Ekin-Su to save the day. Her Italian snack Davide may not remember who she is right now as he’s carousing a selection of haunted receptionists, but once he returns to the main villa there is a chance that the Den and Angie of this year’s Love Island will graduate from entertaining students of the game to legendary alumni.