Bored this way by the bad romance of Gaga's latest game

Revolver: BRIAN BOYDon music

THIS WEEK’S CD Choice is the wrong one. That’s not a slap-down of Eddie Vedder’s magnificent album, but we realise you may be wondering why we reviewed the singer’s

Ukulele Songs

when all the talk is about Lady Gaga’s new release. Gaga’s

Born This Way

album was not reviewed because she suddenly got all coy about giving us an advance copy.

For some weird reason no one seems to remember, albums in Ireland are released on a Friday instead of the following Monday, as happens in the rest of Europe. So it was expected that Born This Waywould be in the shops today.But those pesky illegal downloaders have put paid to that.

The fear was that if the album had been available in Irish shops today, then downloaders would have flown in from all over Europe to make illegal copies of the album, which they would have put up on websites by lunchtime today – three days before it should have been available legally in their own countries.

To be fair, this type of thing happens about twice a year, but even a Delia Smith-style “let’s be havin’ you” message from the Ticket editor to Gaga wouldn’t make the singer change her mind.

Gaga, it transpires, had already pledged her troth to the music streaming service Spotify in Europe, which meant that subscribers to its premium service can listen to the album today. But even it was trumped by the Metronewspaper in the UK, which has been streaming the entire album since last Wednesday.

The supreme irony here is that of all the albums released this year, Born This Waydoesn't need to be reviewed. It is an "event" release as opposed to a music release, so the usual sonic forensics don't apply.

As the clock struck midnight last New Year’s Eve, Gaga first revealed the release date of her new album and the first single off it. This momentous news was given, the singer solemnly said, “as a Christmas gift” to her fans, in a grandiose move that perhaps even Michael Jackson in his delusional prime might have blanched at.

Gaga is clever enough to know that she has perhaps even more traction in the fashion world than in the music world.

So all the “exclusives” about the album were released at big fashion events earlier this year including Paris Fashion Week in January and the Thierry Mugler bash in March.

She first performed the material from the album to the world’s largest music audience when she sang at this year’s Grammy awards in February, and since then it’s been a masterful multi-platform drip-feed of utterly inconsequential information.

The latest headline was all to do with her dissolving into tears when someone pointed out the thematic similarities between the track Born This Wayand Madonna's Express Yourself.

NMEapparently broke all sorts of embargoes and will probably have its offices stormed by US Navy Seals for publishing its review of the album on Tuesday.

It notes that “the album was a self-declared phenomenon before it was even an album” and “it appears to be an experiment in hype itself”.

What did I think of it musically? I didn't get that far because viewing Born This Wayas a musical work sort of defeats its purpose.

Regardless of how it sounds and how it is reviewed, the pre-sales alone confidently suggest it will be the biggest-selling album of the year.

Let’s just give it a five-star review to keep her sweet and move on to the real stuff.

Mixedbag

* New Dublin band The Original Rudeboys are a very interesting proposition. They’re unsigned, yet they’ve sold out their Dublin Academy 2 show on June 18th and have had to add another on the 18th plus one on the 19th.

* Having to travel all the way to not-very-rock’n’roll Plymouth, England to see The Monkees play live. Why aren’t they headlining Electric Picnic?