What's on your rider? Wallis Bird

In conversation with TONY CLAYTON-LEA. Wallis Bird plays the Academy, Dublin, next Wednesday

What's on your rider?Drugs and hookers, of course!

What would be on your fantasy rider?Goats. Cheese. Everything.

W hat's your pre-gig ritual/ routine?Warm up together in the room, then do our "Gilly Gilly" routine, which would sound far too sappy if I explain in detail. It basically involves back rubbing, chin tickling, laughing and shouting!

How do you get to the gig – limo, taxi, walking?Shocking pink super-stretched "rent-a- limo" hummer. I like to be discreet.

What's the best gig you've been to?Seasick Steve at Latitude 2008. Incredible! A hot 69-year-old rockin' the f*** out on a plank of wood with a string and a pickup; 20,000 of us going absolutely mental!

And the worst?Ah, the worst ones usually come right up there with the best.

What are your favourite and least favourite venues?Favourite: People's house sessions. Least favourite: The ones where you have to pay for a pint of water and provide your own toilet paper.

Most embarrassing on-stage moment?Splitting my only pair of trousers perfectly down the comedy area, mid-stage madness. An hour and a half left in my set, Gaffa tape, red face, quick jokes, carry on!

What's your crowd-pleasing number? To My Bonesor Blossoms in the Street.

What's the most you've ever paid for a gig ticket?€60 for Tori Amos in Vicar St about two years ago. I don't think any gig should cost more than that unless Elvis came back.

Groupies. Would you?A lady never tells . . . how many?

Have you a special stage wardrobe?Whatever doesn't have a stain on it.

Any useful stage tips?Warm up and relax before so that you're ready to take anything on 'cos, really, anything can happen!

What's the worst thing ever thrown at you?My friend thought it would be hilarious to throw a pair of knickers at me with Nutella rubbed on the inside. It was hilarious – eventually.

If you could be in any other band, which one?Kíla.