Rioting youths? Call in the Irish Countrywomen's Association

TV REVIEW:THE MOST powerful images on TV this week proved that context and content are everything. Forget high-density fancy-pants multimedia technology – those grainy CCTV images and shaky hand-held camera shots from the chaotic streets of London were so compelling, it was impossible to switch off.

So many brief moments spoke volumes about the rampant lawlessness: the student surrounded by a gang who at first seemed to be helping him but who then started rifling in his back-pack; the hoodie-wearing teenager casually walking towards the branch of Miss Selfridges and starting a fire that eventually burned the shop to the ground; the blazing furniture shop or the gangs racing through various high streets smashing and grabbing at will (looting a pound shop? Now that’s just stupid) while ordinary citizens looked on.

I’ve seen those blokes trying to prise the plasma-screen TV off the wall of that bookies so many times I could pick them out in an identity parade. News reporters positioned just a few feet away from the mobs of looters relied on the residents of the various boroughs for eye-witness accounts – it was remarkable how many Irish voices there were – while on Wednesday more and more looters were prepared to be interviewed about their motivations.

“The police nick you for stupid fings,” explained one. “I want money, innit,” said another. Adidas marketing executives can’t be thrilled that their grey hoodies seemed to be the dress code for many rioters. Equally frightening were Wednesday’s interviews with the emerging self-styled community vigilantes, usually bald and enormous, saying, “The police ain’t no protection; we’ll sort it.”

On Sunday and Monday there was a nervy sense that anything could happen at any time. The coverage had the air of astonishment that these chaotic events could be taking place on the streets of London, right here, right now. There was little attempt at any real analysis of events – or even time for it, as the chaos spread across the city and broadcasters tried to keep up. The rolling, repetitive Sky News was the one to watch.

FROM THE GRITTIESTof real life to, well, what exactly? On Horizon(BBC1, Monday) a scientist with the glorious name of Dr Beau Lotto tried to explain the old conundrum of whether we all see the same thing. Is the blue sky I see the same as the blue you see? That sort of thing.

And very good, in a non-boffin way, it was too. Wish Beau would explain what people are seeing when they watch Charity ICA Boot Camp(RTÉ1, Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday) which began with some knockout stages before going on to the live shows next week. Amazingly, the whole summer has passed without some sort of charity-driven reality show, but it was too much to hope we'd escape altogether. It's a spin-off of last year's series where a group of domestically challenged young ones arrived at the ICA headquarters in Termonfeckin to be put through various traditional and often messy tasks by three fantastic ICA matrons, Imelda Byrne, Josephine Helly and Marie McGuirk. This charity version of the show features 16 Irish "personalities", as the pre-publicity bumf put it, or "celebrities", as the judges and voice-over refer to them.

Weary viewers have come to know what “celebrities” means in this context: in a group of, say, a dozen people, you might recognise one person in a vague “what do they do again?” sort of way. The rest fall into the “I’ve never seen that person before in my life” category.

In the first episode, nutritionist Dr Eva Orsmond met her three fellow contestants with a snippy, “I understood that this is a celebrity camp. I don’t know who you are,” her ego showing severe signs of needing to be put on a strict diet. The trio doubtless hadn’t a clue who she is either but were too polite to say so; even the redoubtable Imelda got the fibre-obsessed Orsmond’s name wrong, making the exceedingly cross-looking doctor even more snippy.

In theory the programme has a lot going for it – and maybe that’s what the commissioning editor saw when the idea came up. The ICA ladies are great, there’s a reasonably wide of range of willing contestants, even if you haven’t got a clue who most of them are, and the tasks have the reality show requisite eeuuww factor (plucking pigeons and gutting fish). But it has as much tension as old knicker elastic. And for all the forced gags in the hysterical voice-over, there’s no sense that anyone – except maybe the judges – is having fun. Making it for charity doesn’t make it worth making.

PUSHY PARENTS, precocious, talentless children, broken dreams, cruel rejection: even knowing what you're going to get in a feature-length documentary about child actors trying to make it in Hollywood didn't take away from the enjoyment of True Stories: Babes in Hollywood(Channel 4, Tuesday). It followed a dozen wannabe child stars and their mothers as they arrived in Los Angeles for the annual three-month pilot season, during which shows are cast, and set up temporary home at the Oakwood apartment complex.

At every turn the deluded parents met saccharine-sweet agents, acting coaches and a whole cast of people on the periphery of the business, ready to relieve the parents of even more cash, plump up their dreams and lavish praise on the children. “This is the only place in the world where you can die of encouragement,” said one veteran who’d seen it all before.

Seven-year-old Savannah was auditioning for the role of a dying child in Grey's Anatomy. Prepping her daughter, the mom suggested that the girl should think of something sad, like "a coyote killing your dog". When that didn't work she suggested they search YouTube for a video of a dying child, which might help her prepare for the role. Savannah didn't get the part – all the children experienced rejection after rejection – but it didn't stop the parents upping sticks and moving the family to LA to chase the dream full-time.

“You’re talking about one of the most perverted dog-eat-dog industries in the whole world,” said one former child star, though none of the parents desperate for the fame and money would see it that way.

Get stuck into . . .

Britain & Ireland's Next Top Model(Sky Living, Monday 9pm) The show returns to Dublin for a photoshoot with guest mentor Yvonne Keating and photographer Barry McCall – and a homecoming for Hannah Devane, the Irish girl who's still in the mix.