I hate to sexualise former taoisigh, but who wouldn’t lob the gob at Enda Kenny?

Patrick Freyne: The former taoiseach looks well in retirement, face ruddy, rusty locks flowing

Iarnród Enda: Enda Kenny could bicycle up your lane any day now offering to taoiseach for a nice pie. Photograph: Mike Mulcaire/RTÉ

Iarnród Enda: Enda Kenny could bicycle up your lane any day now offering to taoiseach for a nice pie. Photograph: Mike Mulcaire/RTÉ

Enda Kenny, at a loose end since retirement, has been roaming from town to town doing a bit of off-the-books taoiseaching. He could bicycle up your lane any day now offering to taoiseach for a nice pie or a space to rest his weary head or a plot to bury his huge retirement pot.

“Don’t I know you?” you’ll say, bringing him a cup of tea as he taoiseachs away in your yard.

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