Hemlines

After the Wonderbra comes . . . the water bra. Yes, even though Demi Moore is having her breast implants removed because they are too 1980s, some women still believe bigger is better. For them, the water bra may be the answer, especially as Dunnes Stores is now selling the item for £25.

Basically a push-up bra, it uses a water/oil mix instead of silicone or rubber padding to lift and shape the wearer's contours. Seemingly one advantage over the alternatives is that this bra looks and feels particularly natural. Dunnes has two styles (one lace-trimmed, the other in a seamless, moulded style), two colours (black and white) and every size from 32A to 36C, after which, presumably, no further assistance is required.

What do we think of Madonna becoming the new face of Max Factor? It's sad, really, for the singer/actress/ whatever and for the cosmetics company, with both looking just a tad has-been from the whole exercise. Madonna's image has changed once too often recently and so this latest transformation seems like just another seasonal shift rather than a serious commitment.

If Max Factor wanted contemporary glamour, the company should have gone for Courtney Love or Cameron Diaz (to name just two).

From our grumpy, middle-aged, why-can't-young-people-today file: have you seen some of the names given to clothes labels now? How about Serial Killer? Or Porn Star? Or Zoo York? The problem is that the label is about the only thing distinguishing these items from all the other sporty, street-wise brands around. After all, the differences are very slight (millimetre difference in trouser width or size of hood on jacket), so the clothes might just as easily be called Something Sensible Your Mother Will Like. Now doesn't that sound so much nicer?