Time to sub-subdivide franchises, says DONALD CLARKE
TO THE surprise of absolutely nobody, Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1has made a disgustingly large sum of money in these territories. It broke this record and that record. It is the fastest film to do something or other.
Still, it doesn't look as if the latest episode from the vampire franchise has any serious chance of catching the final Harry Potteradventure. With $1.3 billion, Deathly Hallows 2now rates as the third biggest money-earner of all time.
Now, this is good news for the people in Hollywood. But you can only mine a seam for so long. Harry Potteris dust. There is just one more Twilightfilm to go.
Panic is setting in. We need more franchises! If we don’t find something new to distract the masses, then Sunset Boulevard will become clogged with panhandling executives.
What to do? Well, Walt Disney responded with extraordinary cynicism when Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom withdrew from the Pirates of the Caribbeansequence. They just set sail without either actor. Michael Bay's nauseating Transformersfranchise – Dark of the Moon is the second biggest film of 2011 – looks like it could go on forever.
But Twilightand Harry Potterwere a bit special. Based on hugely successful books, the series had an irresistible economic trajectory. You just know that virtually everybody who has read the last Twilightnovel will go and see the current film. There was a slim chance that audiences might not turn out for Dark of the Moon.But readers of Deathly Hallowswere counting the minutes to the film.
The only other comparable phenomenon in recent decades has been The Lord of the Ringsmovies. Happily for that series' producers, JRR Tolkien wrote another novel, which is currently being carved up into two more lucrative slices. If The Hobbitfails to draw in three generations of readers then I'll eat my own clay pipe.
Over the past few years, the search has been on for a Potterreplacement. Remember Percy Jackson and the Olympians? The Dark Is Rising? Eragon?Probably not. All were based on supposed publishing sensations. None made its mark. Even The Golden Compass– a flawed version of a masterpiece – failed to drag in the punters.
Is there no hope? Well, somewhere in LA, Warner Brothers has a safe. Within that safe is a piece of paper. Written on that piece of paper is a date. This document reveals the point at which it becomes excusable to begin remaking the H arry Potterfilms. I'd bet it says something like 01/01/16.
Until then there is always the option of constant subdivision. It's too late for HP. But the folk behind Twilightcould divide Breaking Dawn – Part 2into a further two episodes. Then the second part of that could be bifurcated. And so on. You now have an asymptotically eternal franchise.
Would people be dumb enough to fall for it? Well, 45 squillion of them went to see Transformers 3. Make with the scissors.
