She may have lost out to Streep for that Thatcher flick, but the Muppet style icon, the greatest actress of her generation, says her best work is still ahead, writes TARA BRADY
MISS PIGGY is late – so late, in fact that her significant other, Kermit, feels obliged to pop up and apologise. “I’m afraid we might have to hold on Miss Piggy. Last time I saw her she was leaving the bar. I’m not saying she was drinking. I’m just saying that’s where she was.”
The amphibian half of Tinseltown’s longest marriage and screen partnership is, understandably enough, reluctant to speak on behalf of his long-time porcine paramour.
More than three decades have passed since the frog impresario promoted a budding show-sow to headline act for an early episode of Jim Henson's The Muppet Show. Nobody expected the inter-species romance to last.
In a 1979 interview with the New York Times, Frank Oz, Piggy's former assistant and confidante, described her as a possible pig Eve Harrington on the make. A smalltown girl from Idaho, Pigatha "Piggy" Lee had survived a reputedly tough upbringing by seeking fame and fortune on the beauty contest circuit.
Kermit the Frog's discovery of the young pageant queen was recreated for The Muppets Moviein 1979. By then, Piggy had already eclipsed Kermit and her other Muppet Showcolleagues in terms of merchandise sales; the others had lunchboxes but only she had a No 1 book on the New York TimesBestseller List.
Mr the Frog, for his part, attributes the couple’s longevity to decades of devout “compliance” though concedes the relationship has, at times, been “tumultuous”. “Matured? Yes. An interesting word,” he says later. “I’d say the relationship has developed.”
He’s keen, as ever, to defend his superstar partner’s tardiness. This is London, day two on the couple’s gruelling publicity tour for their new film, The Muppets. Piggy, explains Kermit, has many important appointments to attend to. “Harrods. Camden Market. Oxford Street. She’s very, very busy.”
Miss Piggy, when she finally appears, tells a different story: “As a diva I have a very important reputation to uphold. It’s hard work out there. Sometimes the escalators don’t work and you have to use stairs.”
Today, the plus-size editor of Paris Vogueis wearing an animal print sweetheart neckline dress teamed with white evening gloves. Her cascading blonde hair is longer and sleeker than it was during its classic wet-curl disco bob. Indeed, up close and personal, one can only think of one question to ask Rudolph Nureyev's favourite dance partner.
“Miss Piggy, can I touch your hair?”
“Sure. But you know it’s only a wig, dear. You can buy them at any wig store.”
She’s right. But few hairpieces can claim to carry quite so much box-office clout.
Two months ago, industry pundits rubbed their eyes in disbelief as The Muppets, the 10th feature from an imprint thought near defunct, became a super-size all-ages hit with pre-Christmas audiences in the US.
The new reloaded Muppetsarrive courtesy of screenwriter and star Jason Segel and a veritable hipster army. Flight of the Conchordsco-creator James Bobin directs a cast that includes Jack Black, Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Zack Galifianakis, Alan Arkin, Sarah Silverman and Dave Grohl. Eagle-eyed viewers may also note Ricky Gervais, Jim Parsons, Mickey Rooney, James Carvill, Selena Gomez and Neil Patrick Harris hovering around the edges.
For all these cool new chums, The Muppetsremain defiantly uncool. The new film brings together the old gang as they attempt to stop oil baron Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) from drilling under their old Hollywood theatre. Their plan, as ever, centres on the revival of old-school variety acts and Muppet standards, including Rainbow Connection.
Thus far, the new Muppets picture has attracted rave notices and an Oscar nom for Best Song from what Piggy dismisses as “those species-ists over at the Academy”.
Other commentators, most notably the right-wing mouthpieces at FoxNews, have slammed the film as communist, hippie propaganda. Business anchor Eric Bolling, in particular, has led the charge against The Muppets'liberal agenda: "It's amazing how far the left will go just to manipulate your kids, to convince them, give the anti-corporate message," he said last month.
“It’s almost as laughable as accusing Fox News of being, you know, news,” notes Miss Piggy dryly.
The new film once again extends the strange metafiction of Piggy and Kermit’s relationship by suggesting that her beloved Kermy has previously jilted her at the altar. The couple’s on-screen, off-screen two-step has frequently blurred the line between biography and fiction.
She acknowledges certain parallels with modern headline-grabbing celebrities. Long before Heatmagazine regulated the practice among reality TV stars, Kermy and Piggy lived out a very public soap opera. But that, she insists, is just who they are: "I don't mind playing myself. I prefer it actually. There's nobody else who can play me as well."
So this isn’t one of those convenient Hollywood sham marriages? And things are rosy between Kermit and herself?
“Oh yes. Except when he squeezes the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.”
Still, her extreme adherence to postmodernism has, on occasion, created confusion: "No no no no no no," she clarifies later. "Moi is not plus-size. Moi is playing the editor of plus-size Paris Vogue."
Does that mean she knows what trends we should watch out for?
“Well, I think everyone next winter will be wearing coats.”
She immediately dismisses internet speculation that she and Angelina Jolie attend the same Thai plastic surgeon. Her beauty regime requires neither Botox nor any other invasive procedure: “I just decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to get any older,” says Miss Piggy. “Ageing just isn’t for me.”
One of the few celebrities to speak out in favour of phone-tapping in journalism, she suggests that new technologies and an old- fashioned bear trap represent the best way to ensnare and keep your man: “I have no problem with phone tapping,” Piggy says. “I actually have a GPS chip implanted on Kermit.”
But surely she, of all people, must tire of seeing private, personal details regurgitated as tabloid headlines?
“Huh. Wow. I never thought of it working the other way around.”
Over the years Piggy has played Mrs Bob Cratchit in A Muppet Christmas Carol, Benjamina Gunn in Muppet Treasure Islandand all four witches in The Muppets Wizard of Oz. She greatly preferred the screenplay for the new film, having thrown it away without reading it.
Her devotion to method acting has reputedly alarmed like-minded fellow thespians, including Daniel Day-Lewis.
“I walk on and do whatever I feel like,” she explains. “I find that is the best way to play moi. Nobody can truly capture the essence of moi like moi.”
It’s been 10 long years (“not long enough”) since Piggy last worked with the Muppets crew. She is aware of their foibles. Animal isn’t trying to get into trouble, she explains, “he just does”. Other Muppets require careful handling: “I don’t mind working with the Swedish chef,” she admits. “I just don’t want to eat any of his food.”
The movie is a big deal for these secondary Muppet players, but for Piggy, who has always worked steadily, it’s a step down. What’s her secret? Why has she collaborated with Dolly Parton and the Jonas Brothers where other Muppet careers have stalled?
“Well, I love the screen legends – Garbo, Marilyn, Dietrich – and I feel that I’m a continuation of that timeless legacy.”
Recent TV appearances with Jay Leno and Chelsea Lately remind us that the karate- chopping Miss Piggy was once a great – nay, the great – feminist icon. It was Piggy who codified and translated the ideas of second-generation sisters Susan Sontag and Andrea Dworkin into mass entertainment. How does she now feel about her new third-generation heirs, I wonder? Is she disillusioned with the movement?
“I’ve never really seen myself as a leader of the feminist movement,” she trills. “I leave that to others. I really care mostly about myself and promoting my own agenda against the agenda of any other group of people. I’m certainly flattered to be viewed in that way. But only when it works for me.”
She looks down at her neck and fingers a string of fine pearls: “Kermy bought me these on his credit card,” she snorts delicately. “He just doesn’t know it yet.”
The Muppetsopens February 10
Roll with it: the life and times of Miss Piggy
1970?- According to her official Facebook page, Miss Piggy was born on "none of your beeswax". Her sow-chasing father dies in a tractor accident on the family farm in Hog Springs, Iowa; her indifferent mother is left with more piglets than she can handle.
1975 -Studies karate by correspondence course; wins Miss Bogen County beauty contest; appears in pilot episode The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence; duets with Herb Albert.
1976- Recurring work on Pigs in Space and Veterinarians Hospital on
The Muppet Show; karate chops Elton John live on air.
1977- Appears with Vincent Price, Phyllis Diller, Ethel Merman, Connie Stevens, Charles Aznavour, John Cleese and Twiggy on
The Muppet Show.
1979-
The Muppet Moviebecomes seventh highest-grossing film of the year.
1981- Miss Piggy's
Guide to Lifebecomes an international bestseller; final episode of
The Muppet Showfeatures Roger Moore;
The Great Muppet Caperopens in cinemas.
1982- Appears surrounded by champagne and chocolate in Miss Piggy's
Aerobique Exercise Workout Album.
1984 -Piggy unveils her iconic frizz perm in
The Muppets Take Manhattan; Kermit and Piggy marry, although he continually displays "a wee bit of denial about the exact nature of our marital status".
1992- Plays Emily Cratchit in
The Muppet Christmas Carol.
1996- Plays Benjamina Gunn in
Muppet Treasure Island.
1997-
The Muppet Showis resurrected as the short-lived Muppets Tonight featuring Prince.
1998- Piggy releases perfume called "Moi".
1999- Lead role as investigative reporter in film
Muppets from Space.
2003- Appears on Muppets Party Cruise, her first videogame; residency on Hollywood Squares.
2005- Plays multiple roles in
The Muppets Wizard of Oz; takes job at
Paris Vogue.
2007- Ditches bob for soft, long curls on
The Late Late Showwith Craig Ferguson.
2008- Plays Joan S Jonas, a previously unknown Jonas Sister, on
Studio DC: Almost Live; rumours emerge about her relationship with "Zacky" Efron.
2009- Attracts millions of hits for web series
Disney Xtreme Digital.
2010- Guest stars on
Take Twowith Phineas and Ferb.
2011- Piggy creates a limited- edition collection for MAC cosmetics; sings with Olly Murs on
X Factor; hosts
Project Runway: All Starsand
WWE.
The Muppetstakes more than $100 million in box-office receipts.
2012- The Muppets, starring Miss Piggy (of course), is released in Europe.
