Footloose

Directed by Craig Brewer. Starring Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Andie MacDowell, Dennis Quaid, Miles Teller, Ziah Conlon 12A cert, general release, 113 min

THE LATEST IN an ongoing sequence of pointless 1980s makeovers marks an unholy union of nostalgia fetish and post- High School Musicalcash-in. The incessant din of slavish mini-pop cover versions of OST hits Holding Out for a Hero, Let's Hear It for the Boy, Almost Paradiseand the Kenny Loggins title track indicate a troubling reverence for the greater works of Deniece Williams.

Here we go again. Wise ass city boy Ren McCormack (Kenny Wormald) moves to the small town of Bomont, where dancing and loud music are prohibited by order of the council and a super- strict local reverend (Dennis Quaid). These bizarre restrictions have not prevented the preacher’s daughter (Julianne Hough) from moonlighting as racetrack jailbait (“I’m not even a virgin, daddy”). Nor do they prevent Ren from attempting to bring back the boogie to the benighted locale. While our hero gears up to take on the Man, he expresses his frustrations through the time-honoured medium of warehouse gymnastics.

Craig Brewer, the distinctive talent behind Hustle and Flowand Black Snake Moan, has left few identifying fingerprints on this throwaway studio remake of the hallowed Kevin Bacon vehicle. True, Brewer's post-Britney American South feels more authentically hot and sweaty than it did in Herbert Ross's 1984 original, and pro-hoofer Wormald can certainly bust a move.

But the entire project is scuppered by a lack of chemistry between the romantic leads. It’s not all their fault. The screenplay is so caught up in replaying a Greatest Hits package – now featuring bonus tracks from White Stripes, Smashing Pumpkins and Quiet Riot(!) – that it neglects to big up the puppy love.

The original Footloosefeatured horrendous dialogue and implausible shifts in tone. But like the big John Hughes pictures of the era, it understood the value of a sloppy teen crush. Footloose 2011features polished reality TV dancers who are far too busy getting their freak on to bother with wobbly-lipped angst. Their antics are diverting but never really amount to a party worth kicking off your Sunday shoes for.

It’s left to a couple of deft supporting players, Miles Teller (Rabbit Hole) and Ziah Conlon, to enliven the proceedings from roles once occupied by Chris Penn and Sarah Jessica Parker.