It’s rare to finish a book where you wish to shake the hand of the author, and give him a hug. Gerard Gorman tells of his abuse by the paedophile priest Malachy Finegan from his first year attending St Colman’s College, Newry, Co Down, in 1970. Courageous, unflinching, dignified – words cannot do Gorman justice in sharing his story.–
Gorman writes poignantly that even if he had found the words to tell what had happened, his father was so deferential of the Catholic Church that: “I would be punished for telling lies about one of God’s anointed.” Now he has found his words.
It is easy to understand why Gorman was a vulnerable child. Home life looked good on the surface: house, car, family business, regular holidays. But his mother was holding it all together underneath; dealing with his father’s yo-yo personality, physical abuse of her and the children, his gambling.
St Colman’s added to Gorman’s trauma, recalling his fear of a place full of austere men in black. The only teacher who seemed friendly was Finegan. Gorman remembers he always stank of cigarette smoke and often times booze. Nevertheless, he and the other boys thought of him as a “friendly uncle”, even when Finegan entered their dormitory as they undressed.
Finegan would invite boys, including Gorman, to his quarters. Gorman’s recollection is heartbreaking: “There were things on the walls, but I don’t remember exactly what. When things changed, I spent an awful lot of time looking down.”
The first time he was singled out he was 11: “When I met him next,” Gorman writes, “he was no different from usual.”
Money for sweets or a gift would follow the abuse. Easter 1971 was the last time Finegan abused Gorman; he left for Newry parish for a spell before returning to the school. Gorman’s story does not end there, of course. Finegan went on to become college president and died in 2002.
A change of school sees Gorman’s story initially move on but life did not get kinder for him, and inside him was a door that he dared not approach. The final part of the book sees him gradually opening that door through therapy, and seeking justice through the civil courts, with a settlement agreed in 2017. His book will give courage to others.
