A little bit of news: a Christmas short story by William Wall

12 Stories of Christmas, Day 3: Glad tidings at a family gathering

I’m bursting with the pudding. I had a lot of turkey too of course. But the pudding is sitting on me. Photograph: Getty Images

I’m bursting with the pudding. I had a lot of turkey too of course. But the pudding is sitting on me. Photograph: Getty Images

I’m bursting with the pudding. I had a lot of turkey too of course. But the pudding is sitting on me. It’s dark outside already and Uncle Mike is only getting wound up. We had all the ballads from him last year. The Boys Who Bate the Black and Tans, The Boys of Kilmichael.

Hi, says my sister Helen, were they all boys or did a few girls bate them as well, Uncle Mike? Mike thinks that’s very funny. So then we had a lecture about women from Helen. I swear to god if this pudding doesn’t settle I’ll end up puking it all over the car on the way home. Pat doesn’t care. You could shovel turkey and spuds and pudding and smoked salmon into that woman and she would still be smiling.

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