IT probably seemed like a good idea at the time. sky Sports are, so they keep telling us, in the entertainment business, so what could be more entertaining than a series of `Best of All Time' programmes? Line up panels of experts and give them an hour of air time to pick their `best ever' team in a particular category. Great.

Except that then they went and chose Jack Charlton to sit on one of the panels and, well, Jack, in truth isn't cut out for this collective decision-making kind of thing at all. Neither is Jimmy Armfield. Unfortunately for Richard Keys, he got the job of chairing Jack and Jimmy on last Tuesday's programme, when the task was to pick a team made up of the best overseas players ever to play in England. (Oh, Ray Wilkins was on the panel as well).

Richard knew it was going to be a difficult night when, at the start, Jack and Jimmy couldn't even agree on what formation their team would play.

Jimmy wanted a Christmas tree Jack wanted three goalkeepers, seven ball-winners, a runner, seven turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Ray wanted whatever Jimmy and Jack wanted because he's a nice person. When it threatened to turn nasty, Richard decided to postpone the formation debate and asked the lads to pick a goalie and four defenders. Straightforward enough: Peter Schmeichel, Henning Berg Philippe Albert, Frank Lebocuf and Roland Nilsson. Good. Progress.

The midfield? Big problems. Ray very definitely wanted Ruud Gullit in the centre, Jack wanted Emerson and Jimmy, who was prone to telling an anecdote to accompany every player's name he mentioned, preferred Jan Molby.

"I've told this story a few times," said Jimmy, and you believed him. "I can remember Molby once playing for Liverpool at right back and he was near the corner flag when he knocked the ball right across to the other side of the field, to the halfway line, to pick up one of his players on the run." Jack looked horrified. A fullback spraying passes from the corner flag to the other side of the pitch? Shoot him.

"Okay, let's narrow this down. What are we looking for here - an anchor man, someone who can tackle, or someone who can play a bit?" asked a tiring Richard. Jack's bottom lip began to curl downwards. Jimmy and Ray surrendered - Emerson was in.

Next, wide right in midfield. "Has to be Kanchelskis," said Jack. "There's no one to match him," agreed Ray. "That was a short debate," said Richard chirpily. "Well I wouldn't play it that way," interrupted Jimmy.

Richard looked dejected. "I can't believe we're not picking Gullit," complained Ray, but nobody was listening to him anymore, this was Jack v Jimmy. Richard had had enough, so he declared that Kanchelskis and Gullit would play on the right of a five-man midfield whether Jack or Jimmy bloody liked it or not.

"Let's move left," he said optimistically. "Arnold Muhren - was there any better?" he asked. "Great player," said Jimmy. "He has to be in," he added, assertively. "What about Frans Thijssen? He had the best left foot in the league at the time," countered Jack. "Not as good as Muhren's - his left foot could open a can of peaches," said Jimmy.

"What other midfielders are there?" asked a flagging Richard.

"Johnny Metgod," said Jack. "Ardiles," said Ray. "What about Kinkladze... or Juninho?" added jimmy. "I think Ardiles was a touch better," said Ray. "Don't forget Ricky Villa," said Jimmy. "What about Ginola at Newcastle - he has to be there," said Jack.

"I still can't believe we're not picking Gullit," said Ray. Richard reached for another valium. "We've got a serious problem," he said as the ad break gave us a chance for a breather.

When we returned, things had turned even uglier. Jack wanted Gullit dropped and Cantona put in his midfield position instead. Ray was upset. "Okay, why don't we shove Gullit on to the subs' bench?" suggested Jack, in a conciliatory gesture. "Oh, I can't see it myself, but we live in a democracy and if you're going to vote me out, you're going to vote me out," said a tired and emotional Ray. "Can I have Laudrup from Rangers?" asked Jimmy. "No," said Richard.

"Are we agreed that Klinsmann is the lone striker?" asked the chairman. "What about Vialli?" asked Jack. "Berzkamp?" offered Jimmy. "Or Zola's" replied Jack. "We haven't mentioned Ravanelli," said Jimmy. "No, we haven't," said Richard, curtly.

"Well I'm going to bring up another player - the Chilean, George Robeledo of Newcastle, scored the winner in the 1952 cup final," said Jimmy. "Is he good enough for this company? Better than Klinsmann?" asked Richard. "Oh no," said Jimmy. "WELL WHY DID YOU *** MENTION HIM THEN," said Richard's face. "Klinsmann then," said Richard's mouth. "Well, in a year's time I don't think we'd name him?" said Jack. "BUT AS OF NOW," howled Richard. "Okay then," answered Jack, grudgingly. "So, we're playing Klinsmann up front with Cantona just behind. Okay," asked Richard. "I'm not sure," said Jack. "Oh no, don't start Jack," pleaded Richard.

Just one spot left to fill. "I like Vieira from Arsenal," said Jimmy. "Yeah, Vieira's a super player," said Ray. "I can never remember names but there's a big lad, he's French and he's playing for Arsenal at the moment and..." said Jack. "THAT'S VIEIRA," everyone sighed. "Right," said Jack. "The last spot's between Gullit Ardiles and Muhren," said Richard. "I wish Blackpool had the same problem," said Jimmy. "Muhren's my choice," he added.

"I still want Gullit, he can play anywhere - I'd stick him in goal just to get him in the team," said Ray. He was outvoted again - Muhren got the last place. "We'll make Gullit player-manager Ray," said Richard, sensing his panellist was gutted. "See you next time," said Richard as he bade us farewell.

On Thursday it was the turn of Ray Illingworth, Bob Willis and Robin Marlar to pick the greatest English cricket team of all time.

The discussions were fairly civilised until the panel came to picking a second spin bowler for their team - then all hell broke loose. "I want Bob Appleyard... or Sidney Barnes," said Ray. "I want Wilfred Rhodes," said Robin. "Appleyard was a better bowler on all wickets," insisted Ray. "He also, incidentally, threw," alleged Robin. "D'you think so?" said a shocked Ray. "He says so himself." "Which ones did he throw?" "All the ones that bowled me out." "He didn't need to throw to bowl you out," retaliated Ray.