A no-win situation

Reviewed - Kicking and screaming: By the time Bob Dylan was 38 he had recorded 20 of the epoch's most important records. As his son, Jesse, a film-maker of no great distinction, attains that age, he can congratulate himself on delivering the third American Pie movie and a comedy in which Will Ferrell coaches a team of child footballers to glory. How does it feel, Jesse? How does it feel?

Dylanologists will be struck by the fact that Kicking and Screaming deals directly with a son trying to escape his father's shadow. Robert Duvall, the aggressive owner of a sporting goods shop, loves the gentle, hapless Ferrell, but feels he needs to be more competitive.

When the older man, who coaches (groan) soccer part time, offloads his grandson to a weaker team, Will decides to take this squad of klutzes, featherheads and pantywaists in hand. Initially he encourages them to have a good time, but, as a showdown with his dad's team looms, he finds himself overcome with ruthless ambition. He leaves his own son on the bench. He focuses all his attention on two talented Italians. He's heading for Desolation Row.

Will Ferrell works very, very hard at injecting humour into this tired scenario and, to be fair, he often succeeds. His attempt to appear relaxed at the news that the smallest, cutest child's parents are lesbians offers a comedy master-class in conveying spiralling embarrassment. Mike Ditka, the former coach of the Chicago Bears, does good work in an extended cameo as himself. And the kids are surprisingly charming.

But the film is so cosily dishonest it makes you want to scream. The moral of Kicking and Screaming is that winning matters less than taking part. With that in mind, you'd expect Jesse to permit Ferrell's team to lose at the end.

You wouldn't? What a cynic you are.