Jobs not done yet

NET RESULTS:THE REPORT of Steve Jobs's death was, as Mark Twain famously said when he found himself in a similar situation, greatly exaggerated.

The startling non-news resulted from an obituary being accidentally released last week, much to the - er - mortification of the Bloomberg press agency, which inadvertently sent the item to its external wire service, where it went out to subscribers all over the world.

The 17-page obit - yes, you read that right, seventeen-page - was removed 30 seconds later, but as anyone knows who has cc'd an e-mail accidentally to a wider group than intended, or posted to an e-mail discussion list when the e-mail was meant privately for an individual, once it's out, it's about.

For Jobs, the situation was no doubt a bit macabre - even Macabre, geddit? - as one commentator noted on the blog that posted the full obituary, Gawker.com.

At the same time, if one implausibly finds oneself in such unsettling circumstances, it is fascinating to get the chance to see how the rest of the world will talk about you when you aren't in the room, as it were.

In the unlikely event that posterity worries Jobs, the obit is evidence that he probably doesn't have too much to be concerned about at the moment. It kicks off flatteringly: "Steve Jobs, who helped make personal computers as easy to use as telephones, changed the way animated films are made, persuaded consumers to tune into digital music, and refashioned the mobile phone, has XXXX."

Fortunately for Jobs, he hasn't actually XXXX, and with luck he won't XXX for some time to come. But he must be rather pleased to see he has already done so many things in such a notable way, and that they could all be squeezed into an opening paragraph.

I don't know whether he will be amused or bemused to see that the first direct quote full of praise comes from none other than his old nemesis Bill Gates, founder and now semi-retired chairman of Microsoft.

"In terms of an inspirational leader, Steve Jobs is really the best I've ever met," Gates said way back in 1998.

There were years when Jobs baited and bashed Gates annually every January from the stage at the MacWorld event in San Francisco. Now that they are friends and appear together sitting in comfy chairs, as at last year's Wall Street Journal sponsored D5 conference, that's all behind them, of course.

And the world has really changed when Gates gets the first big laugh, even though Jobs spoke first at the annual star-studded tech event. Gates's line: "Well, first, I want to clarify, I'm not Fake Steve Jobs."

Fake Steve Jobs is a fake blog by, yes, a fake Steve Jobs, and very funny it is, or was. Dan Lyons, a Forbes editor who secretly did the blog, was outed last year. He now has his own Real Dan blog, but you can read the Fake Steve blog archives at www.fakesteve.blogspot.com.

Just as good is the Silicon Apartment comic strip, in which Steve and Bill are forced to share an apartment in Silicon Valley, paid for by Steve Ballmer, delighted to get Gates out of the way for a bit. Nonetheless Ballmer comes round for loud late night visits - but you really have to see this hilarious comic for yourself: http://siliconapartment.com/index.html.

But back to the obituary. I found it interesting that only after several pages is there mention of the phrase "reality distortion field" - the infamous ability Jobs has of making anything sound plausible, and not just plausible, but something that you must go out and buy. Now. Immediately, even if five seconds earlier you had never hard of or seen such an object, and never felt the remotest need to own or use such a thing.

And only much further on comes mention of the share backdating controversy. Fair enough, perhaps, as nothing much has come out of it, and Jobs's illness has had more people worried than that financial squall.

But still, it underlines that the controversial, mercurial version of Jobs's life has been eclipsed by his solid achievement. Rewind back to the launch of the multi-colour iMac, Jobs's first big success after he returned to Apple, and the write-up would be much different - pre-iPod, pre iTunes, pre Toy Story, pre iPhone.

It seems forever ago, and the company was a very different Apple, a once-great company teetering on the brink of the abyss. Thankfully, Steve hauled it back up onto firm ground.

I sure hope that obit doesn't have to be used for a good long while yet. I, for one, want to see what the Real Steve comes up with next. And next. And next (if not NeXT).

Klillington@irish-times.ie

Blog: www.techno-culture.com