Jim Carroll

Music, Life and everything else

10 things to look forward to before Euro 2012

(1) Huge upsurge in plastic hammer sales. There’s going to be mad overtime going in the Yiwu Tuozhan Plastics Toys factory over the next few months. (2) The Robbie-Keane-is-not-a-bad-lad movement finally goes into overdrive. Surely the lad has done enough …

Wed, Nov 16, 2011, 09:16

   

(1) Huge upsurge in plastic hammer sales. There’s going to be mad overtime going in the Yiwu Tuozhan Plastics Toys factory over the next few months.

(2) The Robbie-Keane-is-not-a-bad-lad movement finally goes into overdrive. Surely the lad has done enough at this stage to merit less of the slagging? Or does his propensity to stand in the wrong place on the pitch at the wrong time wildly waving his hands in the air like a member of the Wu-Tang Clan still count against him?

(3) Jedward and other idiots making a concerted effort to get their paws on the official Irish Euro 2012 anthem. Wrong on every possible level. Can we just redo “Put ‘Em Under Pressure” in Polish and be done with it?

(4) Marketing and advertising guys muscle in on the action. This has always happened with every major sporting occasion, but one can only wince in anticipation about what’s ahead for next summer as brands and stores attempt to flog stuff we probably don’t need using social media, viral ads and other channels the modern Don Drapers believe rule OK. The marketing meetings are probably already underway this morning.

(5) Stephen Ireland’s pronouncement on what’s going to happen. You know it’s coming.

(6) Live music promoters humming and hawing about what the hell they should do with acts they have on hold for dates which will coincide with the Irish games. Those Red Hot Chili Peppers’ fans who’ve already bought their tickets for the show Croker can rest easy – no games on June 26. You can also expect furrowed brows on the GAA front too, though reducing ticket prices might be an idea here.

(7) The country’s pub owners rubbing their hands with glee at the gargle to be sold when the matches are on. Cocktail sausage sales also to increase.

(8) Huffing and puffing about the RTE pundits. At their best, there is no-one like John Giles, Eamon Dunphy and Liam Brady and convivial ringmaster Bill O’Herlihy (a quick flick over to the Beeb will have you screaming for RTE’s wise men), but there are times when they’re caught out at the back. The addition of Graeme Souness and Dietmar Hamann have worked really well in the past so it will be interesting to know who else gets a call for a summer 2012 gig.

(9) Roy Keane’s pronouncement on what’s going to happen in Poland and the Ukraine. See 5 above. It’s a Cork thing.

(10) At least 3,157 more lists like this one.

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