From butlers to dog groomers, and recording studios to photo shoots, the world's most luxurious hotels offer any number of perks, so long as you have the money, as AMY LAUGHINGHOUSEreports
5-star style at the Lanesborough
‘WE’LL DO anything for you – as long as it’s legal.” That’s a pledge from Sean Davoren, the Limerick-born head butler at the Lanesborough, in London, where guests are blessed with a butler throughout their stay.
Davoren and his team of 23 will lay out clothes, take away dirty laundry, polish shoes, run a bath, chill the champagne and more. In Davoren’s 13 years at this 95-room luxury property, which has attracted the likes of Michael Jackson, George Clooney, Nicole Kidman and Arnold Schwarzenegger, he has retrieved a 12-carat diamond ring from a Bond Street jewellery store, arranged an emergency gown selection and seamstress when a panicked guest arrived without luggage before a party at Buckingham Palace, and hunted down wild goat’s milk on a distant farm. “The milk cost £3.50. The chauffeur cost £400 – so it was a very expensive pint of milk,” he says.
For my husband, Scott, and I, our introduction to the good life begins when our butler, Alberto Mascimino (left), opens the gleaming wooden door to our corner suite with a slight bow and a smile.
Once our eyes adjust to the unaccustomed splendor – views of Wellington Arch, an elegantly draped bed, a tufted leather sofa and a liquor-laden side table stocked with our favorite brands – Mascimino demonstrates a few gadgets that would have made James Bond’s Q proud.
With the touch of a button, a large flat-screen television emerges from inside a bookcase. From the look on Scott’s face he couldn’t have been happier had he just glimpsed Venus cresting the waves swathed in nothing but sea foam.
And Mascimino has another surprise up his sleeve – or, rather, in a drawer beside the bedside table, which disguises a touch screen from which we can adjust the lighting, set an alarm clock, control the room temperature and call a butler, day or night.
With a typical three-minute response rate, these dapper figures are faster than the fire brigade, despite the fact that they aren’t allowed to run and are unlikely to be caught sliding down a grease-slicked fireman’s pole in their perfectly pressed pin-striped trousers.
Before departing, Mascimino asks if we have any garments that require pressing, receiving an armful of wrinkled duds as a grateful reply. He also offers us refreshments, returning shortly with a silver tea service and a plate of biscuits. It’s like being doted on by my mother during a visit home, but without the admonitions that I’m not eating enough and had better not stay out past midnight.
Having your own butler isn’t the only extravagant amenity that the Lanesborough offers. There is a pillow menu, personalised stationery and business cards, an extensive list of complimentary movies and free phone calls to the US and within Europe. (Sorry I didn’t call, Mom.)
If you can be tempted beyond the cozy cocoon of your room, you’ll find a spa stocked with La Prairie and Comfort Zone products, and the elegant Apsleys restaurant, which offers breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the best afternoon tea in London, as voted by the British Tea Council in April last year.
If you prefer something stronger, the wood-panelled Library Bar serves some astoundingly ancient spirits, including the oldest known cognac in the world. Distilled in 1770 – the year Beethoven was born – this liquid gold sells for £4,000 per 50ml shot.
You wouldn’t want to get behind the wheel after drinking a toast or two to ol’ Ludwig, but guests of the Royal Suite needn’t worry, as they’re entitled to the use of a chauffeured Rolls-Royce stretch Phantom 24 hours a day. “It’s like gliding on air,” says driver Issy Ismail (below left), settling into his plush leather seat behind the wood-panelled console. “It’s sheer style, the best car in the world to arrive anywhere.”
And one of the best places to arrive is the Lanesborough, where, for the past 17 years, Dominic Mullan from Co Derry has been greeting guests in his bowler hat and coat tails. “I’ve worked in some hotels where you’re only a number, but here it’s a family,” he says.
That’s true not only for employees but also for guests. “We don’t say ‘Welcome back,’ ” Ismail explains. “We say ‘Welcome home.’ ”
** The Lanesborough, Hyde Park Corner, London, 00-44-20- 7259-5599, www.lanesborough.com. Doubles from £475 (€510); Royal Suite £7,500 (€7,960) per night. Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus.com) flies to London from Dublin, Cork, Belfast, Knock and Shannon. Aer Arann (www.aerarann.com) flies from Galway and Waterford. Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) flies from Dublin, Cork, Belfast, Derry, Kerry, Knock and Shannon. British Airways (www.britishairways.com) flies from Dublin. BMI (www.flybmi.com) flies from Dublin. EasyJet (www.easyjet.com) flies from Belfast
Eden Rock
St Barths, French West Indies
Bono wannabes should check out Villa Rockstar at Eden Rock resort, on St Barths. With 1,486sq m, four master suites, dining facilities for a dozen, a large swimming pool, a bubbling spa pool and a double garage equipped with Range Rover Sports or Mini Coopers, there’s plenty of room for outsized egos. Kick back in a private screening room, lift some heavy metal in your own gym and contemplate your next platinum album in a circular bathroom finished in white gold tiles. The best part? Inspired by sun, sand and surf, beach boys (and girls) can croon in a fully equipped studio. Groupies not included – but you do get a butler.
** Eden Rock, St Jean Bay, St Barths, French West Indies, 00-590-590-297999, www.edenrockhotel.com. Villa from €15,000 per night. Standard rooms from €490. Air France (www.airfrance.ie) flies from Shannon and Dublin via Paris-Charles de Gaulle to Saint Marteen. Winair (www. fly-winair.com), Saint Barth Commuter (www.stbarth commuter.com) and Air Caraïbes (www.aircaraibes. com) fly on to St Barths
The Sarojin
Andaman Coast, Thailand
Combine the connections of a concierge, the showmanship of a magician and the hopeful heart of a romantic and you’ve got a pretty apt description of the Imagineer at the Sarojin resort in Khao Lak, Thailand. Whether you’re dreaming of an elephant ride through the jungle, a rainforest safari among monkeys and gibbons, scuba diving with whale sharks or a candlelit dinner beside a cascading waterfall, if you can imagine it it’s the mission of the Imagineer, Jowell Philemond-Montout, to try to make it happen. Work out the kinks after a day’s adventure in your bathtub for two, or savour a massage together at the spa.
** The Sarojin, Phang Nga, Thailand, 00-66-76-4279004, www. sarojin.com. Rooms from 15,000 Thai baht (€325). Escape2 (www.escape2.ie, 01-8958000) has a deal of paying for four nights, then getting four extra nights free, room only, including flights on Aer Lingus, China Airlines and Bangkok Airways, with private transfers to and from Phuket airport. From €1,579 sharing a Garden Residence Room, plus €244 taxes, per person; valid until June 26th and from August 18th to October 31st
Fouquet’s Barrière
Paris, France
Seal a visit to the City of Lights – and love – with a kiss when you book the Paris C’est L’Amour package at Hôtel Fouquet’s Barrière, a chic boutique property at the junction of the Champs-Élysées and Avenue George V. This romantic offering encourages paramours to re-create Robert Doisneau’s famous photo of a cinematic lip lock (Le Baiser de l’Hotel de Ville) with a make-up session and a one-hour photo session with a professional photographer. It also includes a chauffeured night-time tour of Paris, welcome caviar and champagne, daily breakfast, a champagne dinner at the hotel’s Le Diane restaurant, and transportation to and from the airport. Kate Moss, eat your heart out.
** Hôtel Fouquet’s Barrière, 46 Avenue George V, Paris, France, 00-33-1-40696000, www.fouquets-barriere.com. Paris C’est L’Amour from €1,599 per night; two-night minimum. Rooms (including butler service) from €710. Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus.com) flies to Paris-Charles de Gaulle from Dublin, Cork and Belfast. Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) flies from Dublin and Shannon to Paris-Beauvais
Aria Hotel
Prague, Czech Republic
Topping the TripAdvisor 2009 Traveler’s Choice list of the world’s best luxury hotels, the Aria will put a song in the heart of music aficionados. Every floor is dedicated to a genre – jazz, opera, classical or contemporary – and each of the 52 rooms is devoted to a style of music, artist or composer, from Billie Holiday to Beethoven. Amenities include a music and DVD library, in-room entertainment systems and computers with internet access, iPods, a hotel screening room and a music concierge. The musical theme is woven throughout the decor, as well, from the mosaic notes of an ancient Gregorian chant that accent the lobby floor to the caricatures of famous musicians that gaze down from the walls. After one visit here in Prague’s Mala Strana quarter, you’ll be pining for an encore performance.
** Aria Hotel, Trziste 9, Prague, Czech Republic, 00-420-225- 334111, www.ariahotel.net. Rooms from €310. Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus.com) and Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) fly from Dublin to Prague
Las Ventanas
Los Cabos, Mexico
For the last word in literary luxury, get the first words hot off the press at Las Ventanas al Paraiso, which strives to offer guests advance copies of popular novels from six weeks to six months before they hit bookstores. Past scoops include The Enchantress of Florence by Salman Rushdie and 740 Park by Michael Gross; both authors visited the resort to discuss their books. If you can peel your eyes off the page, stargaze at fellow guests like Kevin Costner, Jennifer Lopez, Robin Williams and Simon Cowell, or at the celestial variety with your own telescope, available in each of the 71 suites. Additional perks include pool butlers armed with sun cream and sorbet, iPods and televisions available poolside, and a pet programme to cater to every canine whim, be it a puppy massage or a portable pet cabana. It’s a dog’s life, indeed.
** Las Ventanas al Paraiso, San Jose del Cabo, Baja California Sur, Mexico, 00-52-624- 1442800, www.lasventanas. com. Rooms from $595 (€455). Fly to Los Cabos International Airport (SJD). American Airlines (www.americanairlines.ie) flies from Dublin to Los Cabos via Chicago and Dallas
Villa Feltrinelli
Gargnano, Italy
It’s hard to feel much sympathy for Benito Mussolini, who found himself virtually incarcerated by German forces at Villa Feltrinelli from 1943 to 1945. Even the most God-fearing granny might commit any number of crimes if she could serve out her sentence at this 19th-century mansion, with its fanciful turrets and crenellations reflected in Lake Garda. Amenities at the estate, which encompasses 13 mansion bedrooms and nine more divided between three cottages and a boathouse, range from midnight snacks in the pantry to complimentary laundry and valet services and free minibar drinks, including beer and wine. A Michelin-starred restaurant, hand-painted frescoes, parquet floors and a swimming pool with a canopied pavilion would make this a marvelous prison indeed – especially with roommates like Richard Gere, who has been known to stay here. But if you must escape this Italian idyll, do it in style in the villa’s convertible Bentley or aboard its 16m boat, La Contessa.
** Grand Hotel a Villa Feltrinelli, Via Rimembranza 38-40, Gargnano, Italy, 00-39-0365- 798000, www.villafeltrinelli. com. Open until October 18th. Rooms from €850. Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus.com) flies to Milan from Belfast and Dublin, and to Venice from Dublin. Ryanair (www.ryanair. com) flies from Dublin and Shannon to Venice-Treviso and Bergamo
Emirates Palace
Abu Dhabi
Many upscale hotels offer airport pick-ups these days; some will even whisk you to the resort in a helicopter. But how about a property that provides first-class international airfare on Etihad Airways, with three day trips aboard a private jet to Iran, Jordan and Bahrain thrown in for good measure? That’s what $1 million buys at the glittering Emirates Palace. It’s practically a bargain when you convert it into euro (about €770,000), given that it also includes seven nights in the 680sq m Palace Suite, a chauffeur-driven Maybach, personalized perfume, a round of golf, deep-sea fishing and gifts such as rare pearls. If you’re lucky, you might even catch a concert at the palace, which has hosted Coldplay, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and Elton John. (Of course, tickets will cost you extra: $1 million just doesn’t go as far as it used to.)
** Emirates Palace Hotel, Corniche Road, West End Corniche, Abu Dhabi, 00-971-2-6909000, www.emiratespalace.com. Rooms from about €560. Etihad Airways (www.etihadairways. com) flies from Dublin to Abu Dhabi