Les Trois Vallées provides some of the best skiing in the world, but the help of a good tour company makes for a much smoother run, writes CONOR POPE
I crouch low over my skis on a pristine slope just outside the gorgeously twee Alpine town of Méribel. As they slice through the compacted, rock-hard snow with a gentle but persistent swish, I am suddenly James Bond chasing baddies. I am absolutely flying and it is utterly exhilarating.
Just then a five-year-old girl whizzes past. And another. Then an entire ski creche overtakes me, led by a teacher who is skiing backwards with no ski poles. They are all laughing, these wunderkinds of this winter wonderland.
I am not laughing. I am panicking and suddenly more Mr Bean than Mr Bond. I can’t stop. The all-important snowplough manoeuvre my instructor – a ruggedly handsome man in his 50s – has spent his afternoon painstakingly teaching me appears to have broken down and a wall of cold, hard whiteness is racing towards me. There is nothing for it: I throw myself to the ground for the 14th time in less than three hours. My teacher, from the official French Ski School, looks on with sadness. As I spit snow onto the piste, I think his evident disappointment a little unfair. He has been skiing since he was two. I have been skiing since two this afternoon.
I need a drink. We call it a day and go looking for one. Luckily, bars with breathtaking views of Mont Blanc are two a penny. We pick one and I get to take off my skis and loosen my boots. Sitting on a wooden bench, listening to a synth-pop band straight from the 1980s, I congratulate myself for not dying.
The band are murdering Roxette’s The Look as a ripple of excitement passes through the bar. The source of this excitement is the arrival of Kate Middleton in neighbouring Courchevel. Some skiers are discussing plans to ski through a nearby mountain pass to star-gaze. Méribel is a wonderfully self-contained resort with enough bars, restaurants and slopes to keep you entertained for a year. It is also within skiing distance of Courchevel, where the British royals regularly decamp, and Val Thorens, a similarly upmarket resort. Together this troika makes up Les Trois Vallées, where some of the best skiing in the world can be found.
There are over 600km of runs on offer, from the baby slopes I’ve been falling on all afternoon to the iceberg-like off-piste runs that make me dizzy just looking at them. We were lucky with both the location and the snow, but luckier still with our choice of tour operator, a small Irish company called Highlife.
Even for good skiers, a ski-trip can be hard work, what with the early starts, the schlepping up mountains carrying cumbersome kit and the hassle of working out where and when to get the best snow. Highlife takes the hassle away.
Most of it anyway. To get to Méribel, we took a red-eye flight with Aer Lingus to Geneva but this early start meant we hit (literally in my case) the slopes that afternoon. And from the moment we touched down in the home of the precision watch, everything went like clockwork.
Highlife arranged the transfers, and two hours after we arrived in Switzerland we were oohing and ahhing at our chalet across the French border. We barely had time, however, to take in the spectacular surroundings before we were shepherded off to be fitted out with our kit and given our ski-passes. After a hilarious first afternoon of falling, we return to the chalet, but before enjoying our three-course meal, nice wine and chillout in front of a huge open fire, we stew in the hot tub and let our snow-shocked muscles be massaged by angels from Pamper Off Piste – an unmissable treat.
Days pass and the skiing gets less terrifying, so the focus switches to the aprés ski. In Méribel, as in all European resorts, it can be hit-and-miss. We get lucky with an Irish band called Bring your Sisters. These four wild men from Donegal play on a stage no bigger than your bed as hundreds of people sing raucously along to their populist playlist. It culminates in the band getting everyone to sit down as they play the James song of the same name.
Typically, ski holidays are made up of classes in the mornings, after which you are left to your own devices. Highlife has a better option: a free guiding service which sees their staff take guests to the area’s best ski runs, with tours tailored to groups’ differing abilities.
Strict qualifying criteria for instructors mean the guides are not allowed to teach you any ski techniques, but they know the area well so you won’t spend your afternoons faffing around on ski lifts and chasing the good snow.
While the Méribel aprés ski was patchy and the snow a little hard, the chalet was flawless. Highlife employ qualified chefs and ours was superb. The food was local and beautifully cooked and presented. We got a hot breakfast each morning, after which we were sent to ski school with a snack, bottle of water and pack of tissues. It is a wonder she didn’t wipe our noses, too.
HIGH LIFE: WHAT'S ON OFFER:
Highlife’s season runs from December 1st to April 21st, 2013 with holidays available from €805 for an adult and €658 for a child under 12. Short breaks are also available from three to four nights from €499 per person. Prices include airport transfers to and from your chalet, accommodation with facilities including saunas, hot tubs and log fires, food and a complimentary bar. Flights and ski/snowboarding packages are not included in this price.
highlife.ie, or email info@highlife.ie