A 24-hour party place it isn't, but if you're looking for relaxation, the unspoilt Maltese island of Gozo is just for you, writes Alison Healy
THE POET Edward Lear took one look at Gozo and decided that he had to invent words to describe the Maltese island. "Its coastal scenery may truly be called pomskizillious and grophibberous, being as no words can describe its magnificence," he wrote in 1886.
Pomskizillious it might be, but Gozo is also surprisingly unspoilt, quaint and full of character. It's a 25-minute ferry ride from Malta, and by the time you step off the boat you are ready to go slow in Gozo.
For an island that only measures 14km by seven kilometres, Gozo has found itself at the centre of many dramas in the past 7,000 years. Lying between Sicily and north Africa, it was bang in the middle of the pirate route and was taken over by the Romans, the French, the British, the Arabs and the Knights of St John, to name just a few, until it declared independence in 1964.
This has resulted in a melting pot of an island where the language sounds Arabic, the coffee tastes Italian, the euro has been embraced and people of all ages speak perfect English.
Gozo has also found itself at the centre of many legends. You can visit Calypso's Cave, where, according to Homer's Odyssey, the nymph kept Odysseus trapped for seven years in a bid to get herself a husband. That's seldom a successful way to ensnare a man and Odysseus finally escaped, but not before leaving the lovesick nymph with two children, in a very small cave. The view from Calypso's Cave is spectacular and takes in one of the finest beaches on the Mediterranean, Ramla Bay, with its impressive orange sand and turquoise waters.
Standing over the sunbathers is a large white statue of the Virgin Mary, a reminder of Gozo's strong Catholic beliefs. Where else would you see parking spaces reserved for the bishop? About 99 per cent of the 30,000-strong population is Catholic and Gozitans proudly declare that they have a church for every week of the year, if not every day.
The island has 14 towns and villages and the church is at the centre of each one. Some churches display two clocks, one of which tells the wrong time in a bid to confuse the evil spirits.
The Basilica of St George attracts many visitors with its rich Roman baroque architecture, but for something a little more unusual, take a look at Ta' Pinu Shrine. This has acquired a reputation for miracles after a local woman heard a voice calling her into the church in 1883. The church is full of the paraphernalia of accidents or illnesses. Used crutches, neck braces, motorcycle helmets and even buckled bicycle wheels line several walls.
One of Gozo's most popular tourist sites is Ggantija, a megalithic temple complex that claims to be the world's oldest free-standing structure. The Unesco World Heritage Site dates back to 3600-3200 BC. Legend has it that the temples were built by giants, hence the name Ggantija - "belonging to the giants".
For the more adventurous, Gozo's clear blue waters are a haven for divers, with visibility in excess of 40m, dramatic underwater scenery and abundant marine life. The island is also good walking country, criss-crossed by tracks and lanes and with no irritable drivers tooting their horns. It is also incredibly safe - one Gozitan said he had never heard of a mugging on the island and he scratched his head trying to recall an incidence of theft.
Keys can still be seen dangling from front doors - according to yet another Gozitan legend, when pirates snatched the menfolk of the island, wives left their keys in the door to show that they were remaining faithful, and had nothing to hide if their husbands returned home unexpectedly.
If all this drama is too much for you, take a day trip to the neighbouring island Comino, which is a permanent home to just four people. That increases to five during the summer when a policeman takes up residence to cope with the influx of tourists.
The tiny island is renowned for its blue lagoon, which is very popular with bathers and divers, as well as film-makers. Comino has been used as a location in movies such as Troy, starring Brad Pitt, and Madonna's widely panned Swept Away.
Many tourists visiting Malta usually only travel to Gozo on a day-trip, which probably explains why it is still so unspoilt. Most of Gozo's visitors are Maltese who rent farmhouses or villas and escape for long weekends and holidays. The farmhouses are converted to a high standard and often include swimming pools.
But if you feel like being truly pampered, then try one of the island's five-star hotels. We stayed in the luxurious Kempinski Hotel in San Lawrenz where you can choose from four outdoor and indoor pools, including a kids' pool, and where the spa is bigger than some Irish hotels. It includes an Ayurvedic centre, which not only offers traditional Indian holistic treatments but also has an Indian chef on hand to prepare dishes to complement the treatments.
Feeling adventurous, I opted for the chavitti thirummu massage, by which the therapist hangs from a rope and gives the massage with his foot. It's an unusual sensation, being massaged with someone's foot, but after suppressing a fit of giggles when the toes curled around my neck, I found it so relaxing that I fell asleep.
If you are looking for a 24-hour party place, with Starbucks on every corner, then Gozo is not for you. But if you want to unwind, swim in clear waters and sit in a sleepy square watching the world amble by, then you will find Gozo truly pomskizillious.
• Alison Healy travelled to Gozo as a guest of the Malta Tourism Authority, www.visitmalta.com
Go there
Ryanair ( www.ryanair.com) flies to Luga in Malta, with flights starting from €160. It takes about 40 minutes to drive from the airport to the Gozo ferry terminal at Cirkewwa. A direct shuttle bus service also operates several times a day. www.gozochannel.com. The ferry ride to Gozo takes 25 minutes.
Where to stay, eat and go on the island
Where to stay
Five star hotels include the Kempinski Hotel, San Lawrenz, (00-356-22110000, www.kempinkski-gozo.com) and Ta' Cenc Hotel, Sannat (00-356-21556819, www.vjborg.com/tacenc). Or see www.visitmalta.comfor a detailed list of all categories of hotels, farmhouses, villas and guesthouses.
Where to eat
Bread is a central part of Maltese cuisine and is a popular starter when topped with locally grown tomatoes, tomato paste or traditional peppered cheese. Rabbit appears on every menu - it's the Gozitan equivalent of roast beef - but there is also a wide selection of continental foods and fresh fish. The Gozitan and Maltese wines are popular and there is no need to opt for expensive imported beer when Maltese beers such as Cisk are available. Or quench your thirst with Malta's favourite soft drink - Kinnie - which is made from bitter oranges and herbs.
Recommended restaurants include Tatitas (34 Pjazza San Lawrenz, 00-356-21566482), Sicilian restaurant Il-Panzier (Charity Street, Victoria, 00-356-21559979) and It-Tmun (Mount Carmel Street, Xlendi, 00-356-21551571). Its owner Leli Buttigieg will entertain you with tales of his adventures in Belfast as a student in the 1970s. Or try Ta' Furnar (Gnien Xibla Street, 00-356-21556372), which specialises in traditional cooking in an original stone oven. It's across the road from the Pomskizillious Museum of Toys (00-356-21562489), which claims to have the world's smallest doll in its collection.
Where to go
The Azure Window is one of the most photographed landmarks of Gozo. It's a giant doorway at the edge of a cliff through which you can admire the blue sea beyond. It is also home to two of the most popular dive sites in Gozo.
The Citadel, which was the old capital of Gozo, sits proudly overlooking the island's capital, Victoria, and has some of the best views of the island. It includes an old prison, a folklore museum and a science museum inside its walls, as well as the recommended traditional restaurant Ta' Rikardu (00-356-21555953).
Gozo Cathedral in the Citadel has no dome, although one was designed for it by the Maltese architect Lorenzo Gafa. But the money ran out, so instead of building a dome Italian painter Antonio Manuele created a trompe l'oeil painting of the interior of an ornate dome. It's nigh impossible to tell the difference (until you stand outside and see the flat roof).
If you want to see a Gozitan farm in action, visit the family-run Ta' Mena (Rabat Road, Xaghra, 00-356-21564939), where you can pick fruit, take a vineyard tour, sample wine, take a pony ride and leave with a picnic basket full of local goodies.
For traditional crafts, such as handmade lace, blown glass and the Maltese version of Aran jumpers, visit the Ta' Dbiegi crafts village on the outskirts of San Lawrenz. It includes the Gozo pottery barn (00-356-21562316).