There have been 48 positive drug tests in the summer games since Hans-Gunnar Lijenwall was snagged on alchohol in the modern pentathalon in 1968. Since then weightlifting has done a seriously good job in gold-medalling in substance abuse.

In 1972 two from seven lifters were positive. In 1976 eight from 11 positives were the strong guys. In 1984 five more were caught and in 1988 half of the ten athletes caught cheating were weightlifters. Anabolic steroids were the drugs of choice.

How did the sport cope ? So tainted was it that the international federation changed all weight categories following the Barcelona games in 1992 thus wiping out all Olympic records and starting `clean.' Another `cleansing' occured after the 1996 games, so we assume that the first one didn't quite work out.

Star in the firmamanet is a small man called Naim Suleymangolu. The Turkish govenment paid Bulgaria over $1,000,000 to allow Suleymangolu compete for them rather than Bulgaria. He subsequently won three gold medals between 1988 and 1996 smoking 50 cigarettes a day-for inner peace. Here is a sport you can watch and feel good about your own bloated body. We fatties need more but not at the Olympics thanks. - Johnny Watterson