What a saga, eh, as JJ from the Boston Rod Sex finally takes over

 

TV VIEW:WELL, THAT Liverpool business was a bit of a saga. Even the club’s chairman, Martin Broughton, got muddled by it all in the end, doffing his cap, in an interview with the club’s own channel, to the new owners’ impressive record with the “Boston Rod Sex”.

It could just have been down to a bit of sleep deprivation, Broughton spending the week commuting between Anfield and the High Court in London, where, surely, never before was a verdict greeted with a lusty rendition of You’ll Never Walk Alone.

It was nice, though, to see former co-owner Tom Hicks taking it well when he spoke EXCLUSIVELY to Sky, the Texan graciously wishing the club all the best under the Rod Sex people, New England Sports Ventures. “I’m shocked, devastated and frustrated,” he said, “this is a very valuable asset that was swindled away from me in an epic swindle.”

No hard feelings, then, and you can be sure he and George Gillett tuned in to yesterday’s Merseyside derby with hope in their hearts.

True, it’s possible their hope was Liverpool were stuffed, chucking Toffees at their screen every time NESV head honcho John Henry’s mug appeared, but you’d like to think not.

“There’s never been a time like it on Merseyside,” Richard Keys assured us, Sky’s selection, as the soundtrack for the club’s start to the season, of Johnny Cash’s funereal version of Bridge Over Troubled Water reminding us it hasn’t been terrific.

While Goodison Park-bound Liverpool supporters quietly tucked away their “Yanks Out” banners Sky cornered NESV chairman Tom Werner for a chat.

“We’re just here to root on the team,” he smiled, “I love the majesty, the panoply, the excitement.”

Jamie Redknapp looked, it has to be said, a bit sceptical back in the studio, as did his colleague for the day Robbie Fowler, but Richard was consoled by the fact Werner referred to the sport as “football”.

“Americans usually don’t,” he told Jamie and Robbie, but, that didn’t convince them Liverpool would be challenging for the title by Christmas.

Robbie, who proved that he still has a fair old engine by making the trip from Perth (Australia, not Scotland) for his punditry shift, tried hard to be upbeat about his old club’s prospects now they have new owners, but then he saw the Liverpool line-up for the game.

“They’ve got to make do with that until January,” he sighed. Jamie nodded.

Before kick-off there was just time for a quick exchange about the week’s burning topic: has English football become too brutal? “We’re just getting brainwashed at the moment listening to so many foreign managers,” said Arry’s son, Richard telling him Tim Cahill said he expected to get “clattered” by Steven Gerrard in the opening minutes. “And he’ll be disappointed if he isn’t,” said Jamie. Robbie scratched his head.

Over to Goodison, where the home fans unfurled an “Agents Hicks and Gillett: Mission Accomplished” banner in recognition of the Americans’ achievements at Liverpool, namely having them second from bottom of the table. At least someone appreciates their efforts.

Henry took his seat and only had to wait 34 minutes before a Killybegs-Sydney one-two, between Séamus Coleman and Cahill, had the Liverpool Rod Sex trailing in the first innings.

It got worse, 2-0 down after 50 minutes. The camera zoomed in on Henry again and he was almost not smiling anymore. Buyer’s remorse? Maybe.

Which one of us hasn’t paid €342 million for something we thought we’d like but discovered our lives were perfectly fine without it? Come full-time Richard tried to get Robbie to reassure Liverpool supporters this was nothing like his experience at Leeds, when they went from title contenders to relegation in a blink of an eye.

Robbie agreed, you couldn’t compare the two situations.

“The team we had at Leeds was better than this Liverpool side,” he said. Jamie gulped.

Another Liverpool old boy, Alan Hansen, was no more optimistic when he reported for duty on Football Focusthe morning before. Yes, he was well chuffed the club had new owners, but reckoned their promise of a €46 million transfer budget in January was about €229 million short of what was required.

Remember a couple of weeks ago Stan Collymore had a right lash at Hansen and his fellow BBC pundits for their “stale, cliched, smug pap”, suggesting they just looked like “a golfing clique who only have a passing interest in football”? Alas, Hansen referred to the new Liverpool supremo, on more than one occasion, as “JJ Henry”, not John Henry. JJ would be the American, err, golfer. He finally got word in his ear that he was mixing his sporting codes. He apologised. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Stan probably Tweeted,” I rest my case”.