Vinny dreams of Brady as Norman makes a conquest

Looking around, he wasn’t so sure about the glitzy glass replacement that resembled Skylab. He’d only been to a couple of games – the last the 2011 FAI Cup final – and felt the new version of Lansdowne Road lacked the gritty soul of its predecessor.

Intimidated

Teams weren’t intimidated coming here any more. And the record of the Ireland team seemed to bear that out. Not one decent side under Giovanni Trapattoni had been put to the sword in the Aviva.

After reminiscing about Giles, Brady and Keane, Vinny headed back up to join the revelry. There were a few lights on in the premium level which meant more than one Christmas party was in full spate. He joked to himself there was probably more folk in the stadium than there would be in February for the Poland game.

When he reached the top of the steps, he found a door. It was locked. Wrong door. About 20 paces on, there was another door which, thankfully, was ajar. Vinny found himself in a dimly-lit corridor, and could just make out a sign for the Gents toilet, which reminded him he’d over-indulged in the beef stroganoff earlier.

He had just settled into trap six and reached into his inside pocket to study his Christmas work schedule, when he was aware of activity in a nearby cubicle. He twitched his antennae as he heard a voice he thought he recognised: “I’ve been trying to get you on my own all night.”

Vinny smiled to himself, cocksure a colleague had pulled one of the few female drivers in the force. He went evens it was dazzling Daneka, the platinum blonde from Leipzig, who drove the 13A. Seconds later, he got his answer and was stunned.

The second occupant of the adjacent stall wasn’t Daneka, or any of the few other young fillies in Dublin Bus. “I know you have, that’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I don’t want people to know about us”, said a voice most assuredly male.

Vinny froze. As a betting man, he’d lump all he lost on Daneka on the probability his cosy neighbours were Dastardly Dick Delamere, head honcho at Donnybrook Garage and “Stormin” Norman Fagan, reviled captain of the depot’s all-conquering Banana Cup team.

It was time to act before things, literally, got out of hand. With a deliberate rustle of his work roster and a loud harrumph, Vinny got to his feet and energetically flushed the toilet.

Aware that silence had descended on the adjacent stall, he washed his hands vigorously and began whistling It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, with more enthusiasm than was needed, before beating a hasty retreat from the restroom.

Sometimes, Vinny acknowledged on his return to the partying, a little knowledge was a dangerous thing.

Bets of the week

2ptswin Sir Des Champs in King George VI Chase (28/1, Betfair)

1ptLeinster and Clermont Auvergne to draw in Heineken Cup (22/1, Paddy Power)

Vinny’s Bismark

1ptLay Newcastle United to beat Manchester City in Premier League (4/1, general, liability 4pts)