September Road: If a hurling county was an old cartoon character
And next weekend’s all important War of the the Crisps
And then there were six.
Only in the world of the GAA could quarter-finals involve just two matches, but that’s the way it is next weekend, when the likely and unlikely lads meet in Semple Stadium for the chance to meet the very unlikely lads in the All-Ireland semi-finals.
So we thought now might be good time to run the rule over the six remaining counties still in the race to win the Liam MacCarthy Cup this September.
CLARE GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE
There was an original ‘Tarzan’ version – but it’s so long ago no one can quite remember anything about it. The modern equivalent is half-serious, half-parody. Strong and big-hearted, and there have been sporadic and major victories, but clumsiness has too often foiled the best laid plans.
Do say: “To swing or not to swing? Swing.”
Don’t say: “Watch out for that tree!”
CORK CHARLIE BROWN
Timeless – it’s just not the same in its absence. Endless determination and even when nothing is going right, refuses to give up and this stubborn streak is ocassionally rewarded. Has a long history of causing headaches for those in charge. Thinks everyone is on the other side of the issue, even when they’re clearly not.
Do say: “Please don’t try to kick the football.”
Don’t say: “You’ll be a lovable loser next weekend.”
The geek next door suddenly seems to have turned into this super-strong, super-agile super-hero. Self-obsession with rejections and inadequacy appears to have been consigned to the past with a new-found ability to cling on for previously unlikely victories.
Do say: “With great power comes great responsibility.”
Don’t say: “The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the Goblin and took the spider out.”
GALWAY DONALD DUCK
Always close to the centre of the stage, though rarely actually centre-stage. Short temper (that bloody ref) is matched by a positive outlook (there’s always next year). Prone to showing off and, while undoubtedly talented, often over-estimates own ability – which leads to often getting in over one’s head.
Do say: “Oh boy am I hungry, oh boy, oh boy, I am so hungry!”
Don’t say: “All talk and no trousers.”
Happiest when the chips are down and
all appears lost – then, and usually only then, an appearance is made to save the day. When tails are up seem to be
invulnerable to all forms of physical harm. Cunning, brave and often underestimated, neutrals can’t help but root for them.
Do say: “Have no fear, Underdog is here!”
Don’t say: “I fancy ye to win.”
KILKENNY MIGHTY MOUSE
Has been through many incarnations, but one this is certain – it’s part-ordinary, part-extraordinary. Has demonstrated some form of super-hypnosis that allows affords the ability to take control of an inanimate object and turn back time.
Do say: “Here I come to save the day!”
Don’t say: “Couldn’t you have thought of something other than a mouse to compare the Cats to?”
AGAINST THE ODDS
Think Cork will beat Kilkenny next weekend and win it out?
2013 SHC: Kilkenny 13/8; Dublin 10/3; Limerick 10/3; Galway 13/2; Clare 9/1; Cork 10/1
MEATH V TYRONE A CRISP AFFAIR
Oh, it’s a big one next weekend. A clash of the titans.
We thought it was a big deal when Carroll’s Ham (Offaly) took on Brady Family Ham (Kildare) in the Leinster football championship in June. Yes, that’s the only reason that match was a big deal.
And just to qualify for yesterday’s Connacht decider, Bewleys Hotels (London) had to overcome both the Bush Hotel (Leitrim) and the Radisson (Sligo)
But next weekend’s clash between Tayto (Meath) v Hunky Dorys (Tyrone)?
THEY SAID THAT? TWITTER TWADDLE
Eoin Bradley @skinnerlad
sick as f**k.fair play 2 cavan.best of luck 2 them 4 the rest of the year.thanks4 all the messages and support
Paul Galvin @pgal10
The African Cup of Nations to be held in Fitzgerald Stadium next summer. A welcome boost for the coffers. Full story to follow. #whatgrass?
Billy Joe Padden @bjpadden11
The least bad team won on the night. Didn’t think Tyrone played well but Kildare were awful
Owen Mulligan @owen_mulligan
Monaghan adapted the Andy Murray approach, if first u don’t succeed try and try again. Said it all along they’d win ulster !!!!!!! #hunger
Steven McDonnell @Killeavy13
This proves how difficult it is to win 3 in a row in Ulster. Well done Monaghan. Fully deserved result. Enjoy the celebrations.#UlsterFinal
Frankie Boyle @frankieboyle
Well, it’s not turned out too bad. Down a sheep and some turf, but won two lambs on Mayo and a ram on Monaghan scoring 10
MJ Tierney @Mjtierney13
Donegal struggle with teams who rather than counter their system, play the same way. Laois have got joy from the same against them...
Daithi Regan @daithi_regan
Come on gaa, triple header in thurles next week, don’t ask cork and Galway people to have 2 expensive days, make thurles a carnival sunday
Ronan Sweeney @Roli100
Saddens me a great deal to say, after 14 years, yesterday was my last day to chase my dreams in a Kildare jersey. Thanks for the memories!
Monaghan GAA @monaghangaa
Monaghan are Ulster minor champions for the first time since 1945!!!
Sadiq Khan MP @SadiqKhan
London GAA can be proud of what they achieved on our behalf. And we’re still in the Qualifiers! #GAA #LondainAbu