Kiss 'n' tell Tabby reveals all about Mario

All in the Game:The Daily Mirror had a top-class kiss 'n' tell interview with, surprisingly, a "stunning model" last week. Tabby, the woman in question, revealed all about her relationship with Mario Balotelli.

There were many highlights, the best of all, perhaps, Tabby saying of Mario: “He told me he could send a woman a text with just a full stop in it and they’d be offering themselves on a plate.” Legend.

Better still was the response of Mino Raiola, Balotelli’s agent, when the Mirror contacted him: “Listen, I will tell you in English, okay? . . . Inever gave a **** about what you wrote and I will not give a **** now what you are writing. So I don’t give a **** what you write or what you will write in the future. Write anything that you want. Okay. Ciao.”

In other words, “no comment”.

Bloody Corinthians

The Observer had a story yesterday about a new replica shirt launched by Brazilian club Corinthians, to which the only response could be: “You’re jesting, right?”

But it was true. As a tribute to their former player Ze Maria – who became a legend at the club after playing on, in a blood-soaked shirt, in a Championship final, despite suffering a nasty facial cut – Corinthians have released a replica shirt in his honour that features . . . (hopefully) fake blood.

Bloody hell!

Holloway caught offside in pursuit of striker

Back in August, then Blackpool manager Ian Holloway was asked if he had any plans to reunite with a former striker of his.

His response was emphatic enough: “There’s about as much chance of re-signing DJ Campbell as there is of me wearing high heels and calling myself Sheila.”

Last week?

According to the Daily Mail, Holloway, now Crystal Palace supremo, dashed “up the M1 and along the M62” to try to hijack Hull’s signing of a striker. Yes, DJ Campbell.

Mercifully, it didn’t work out. By then, Campbell had moved on to Blackburn for a transfer chat, having told Hull manager Steve Bruce during their negotiations that he was popping out for lunch.

“The lack of respect by him and his representatives left a bad taste in the mouth,” said Bruce.

The Hull manager would at least have been cheered by news that Blackburn missed the transfer deadline and Campbell is back at QPR.

They could still sign him on loan, though. As could, gulp, Sheila Holloway.

No fond farewell from not so super Mario

“Good things? Only when I get to Carrington to train. The bad things? Everything else. The press, first. The weather. The food. The way you drive. That’s it.” Mario Balotelli bids a not entirely fond farewell to England.

“In a dressing room where the offensive egos of players are struggling to live, the arrival of a third-hand Rolls Royce which becomes the main focus of media fascination risks causing envy, while feeding a climate of discord.” French paper Le Figaro bids a not entirely fond bienvenue to David Beckham.

“He won’t talk to me on Twitter because I don’t know what Twitter is.” Harry Redknapp ruling out transfer tweeting with Peter Odemwingie.

“You cannot give in to players like this. It is the same as giving in to terrorists or kidnappers. If you pay the ransom, they will only come back for more.” West Ham chairman David Sullivan downplaying the Odemwingie saga.

“I wouldn’t have reacted that way to a referee. I’d have gone home and smashed a wardrobe.” Palermo owner Maurizio Zamparini, according to Football Italia, on Juventus manager Antonio Conte’s berating of the ref after a recent game. Why a wardrobe exactly?

Ancelotti fails to hit target over Beckham

December 29th: “I know that he is leaving Los Angeles Galaxy, but we are not interested.” Paris St Germain coach Carlo Ancelotti ruling out a move for David Beckham. February 2nd: “He can help the team have a great season. I’m very happy that he has joined the club.” Carlo Ancelotti welcoming David Beckham to Paris St Germain.”

January 8th: “The name of Balotelli never came into my thoughts. He is a rotten apple and could infect every group where he goes, even Milan.” AC Milan president Silvio Berlusconi ruling out a move for Super Mario.

January 31st: “I did not sign Mario Balotelli as a political statement. I signed him because he scored two goals against Germany and made them cry, unlike prime minister Mario Monti who made the Italians cry.” Silvio Berlusconi welcoming Super Mario to AC Milan.

January 10th: “It is a good time to be in Russian football. I feel it was my destiny to play for Anzhi.” Christopher Samba enjoying life at Anzhi Makhachkala.

January 31st: “I’m delighted to be back in the Premier League. It’s the best league in the world to play football.” Christopher Samba looking forward to enjoying life at QPR.