GAA’s new world order: hurling on the ditch and kicking to touch
History if history was written by the GAA
Wander lost in the fields like a bull in the mist, the GAA will be the scutch grass beneath your every step. Photograph: Inpho/Cathal Noonan
In uncertain times, the little bit of stability goes a long way; now more than ever. A world where the Republic’s soccer team is sleek and assured while the rugby team sways like a texting drunk is not one that will feel familiar to anyone under the age of 30.
Bad enough they had to grow up in a land that promised a lifetime of plenty only to have the rivers run dry just as they came old enough cast a line. Now they can’t even be sure which bandwagon to jump off. This must all come as the most terrible shock.
Well fear not young ’uns. The GAA is here to save you. Wander lost in the fields like a bull in the mist, the GAA will be the scutch grass beneath your every step. If you hunger, it will sustain; tire, and it will be your bed. Because the GAA is the last old reliable. Changing yet changeless as canal water, to rob a line from Vivian Stanshall. The latest hocus-pocus around the format for next year’s hurling league would be depressing if it wasn’t so damn reassuring. Like a bout of flu you wait the whole winter for, just to get it out of the way.
A recap here isn’t necessary. Just know that the GAA Central Council voted on Saturday to solve the puzzle that has held up the 2014 Master Fixture List by voting not to resolve it. In a twist of logic that would have made George Costanza snort, they fixed a problem by deciding there was no problem. Moreover, that there will be no problem – at least for the next three years.
Little wonder that the eminent GAA correspondent of these pages has spent the weekend at home, silently tapping out: “All work and no play makes Seán a dull boy.”
It’s at times like this that you can’t help but wonder what the world would be like if it was run by the GAA. Soccer folk may wish to take this time to get the “Whaddya-mean-if” jokes out of their system.
Imagine the rewriting history books would have to take . . .
Now known as the mid-summer Rising. Originally planned for Easter but put back a couple of months to avoid a clash with congress. Initial problems forming a coalition between Pearse’s Irish Republican Brotherhood and Connolly’s Irish Citizen Army smoothed over by a rebel county delegate: “Lads, if Nemo and the Barrs can come together for Cork, ye can come together for Ireland.”
Centre of Operations – Croke Park. Intended to be the GPO but decision reversed after significant number of delegates took against the idea on the basis that it was the stated preference of the football counties. Rebels complained afterwards of going hungry and having to stand around bored for long periods. The 2013 All Stars are thought to have been a tribute.