All in the game

Mon, Oct 29, 2012, 00:00

   

Compiled by  MARY HANNIGAN:

Screen idol: Heskey in view

Confession: there was much chuckling when the Guardian reported last week that Fox Sports in Australia were promoting their “Heskey Cam” ahead of Emile’s appearance for Newcastle Jets against Melbourne Victory: “One camera, one hero; every pass, every run, everything Heskey does on the pitch, you’ll see it first with the Heskey Cam, the dedicated broadcast providing a rare insight into what makes Heskey so good.”

Removing all the coffee spray from the computer screen was a heckuva job.

The Jets won 2-1. And who scored both their goals? The fella starring on the Heskey Cam. “You’re not chuckling any more,” he’s more than entitled to croon.

Colour me stupid: Brown sees red over orange man

Former Hull City manager Phil Brown has had quite a bit of ribbing over the years over his sun tan, one he has often, miraculously, maintained through winter. It was an issue he raised while chatting to BBC radio’s Victoria Derbyshire during a discussion on racism in football debate. He did, seriously.

“So you’re confused about the definition of racism,” Derbyshire asked him. And off he went. “I’ve been called sunbed. I’ve been called, you know, orange man, I’ve been called . . . and it’s not as serious as what these guys are claiming because it’s, you know, from their past and where I’m concerned it’s a level of abuse at my skin colour. I don’t class that as an abuse, so I get on with it.”

As the unkind commenter under the YouTube video of the interview put it, “Let’s kick sunbeds out of football”. Brown wasn’t done. On the issue of Rio Ferdinand refusing to wear the “Kick it Out” T-shirt: “I’m not too sure what point he’s trying to make – if he’s not going to wear a Kick It Out T-shirt is he not wearing it to bring it back?”

Em . . .

Scot free: Mbia's lost

“Marseille told me they needed to raise money, but I never thought I would come here to QPR. I thought they were in Scotland.”

– Stephane Mbia, having, presumably, left out the “Rangers” when he Googled “Queens Park”.

“I only shot three or four players in the dressing room.”

– Roberto Mancini on his serene response to that Champions League defeat by Ajax.

“I would give half a goal for a set-play and a full goal for open-play goals.”

Is Roberto Martinez somehow lobbying for Stoke City’s relegation?

Picture imperfect: Porto's phantom photograph gets a rational explanation

So, did you hear about the ghost spotted at Porto’s Champions League game against Paris Saint Germain earlier this month?

It was seen in the crowd as James Rodríguez celebrated his winning goal, and to be honest, it did look decidedly spooky.

Google “Porto, ghost” and you’ll find too-many-to-count blogs analysing the apparition, most of them quoting a source that declared: “According to spiritualism, many of these lost souls can be found in homes, in shopping malls, on beaches, in public buildings such as offices and prisons, and – why not if they loved football? – in stadiums where games are happening.”

Creepy.

The mystery appeared to be unresolved that is until David Hills in yesterday’s Observer, who first quoted experts describing “a dark figure in clothes from another era with an outdated haircut”, directed us to a photograph from a different angle that simply showed the ghost was, in fact, “an old person”.

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