All in the game
Compiled by CARL O'MALLEY
Not your bog standard goalkeeper
For reasons best known to themselves, two Japanese firms have collaborated to create a goalkeeping toilet. The Super Great Toilet Keeper was created by Japan’s largest toilet manufacturer, Toto, and a sports lottery agent of the same name.
Using two cameras positioned at either side of the goal, the makers claim, the toilet predicts the trajectory of any shot travelling up to 160kph within 0.1 seconds, adjusts its position accordingly and fires out a smaller ball to deflect the shot away.
The toilet bowl’s goalkeeping prowess is impressively demonstrated in a YouTube video featuring former Japan international striker Tatsuhiko “Dragon” Kubo, who, with 11 goals in his 32 caps, was no bog standard operator.
It was disappointing to learn, however, that the toilet does not fulfil its primary function of actually being a toilet. Ye know what Gilesy would say to that?
“You can have all the fancy tricks in the world but if you can’t do the basics . . .”
Keane not in the LA picture just yet
If raising his profile was part of what prompted Robbie Keane to move from London to LA, it doesn’t appear to have worked. The striker seems to be fading ever more into the background, as the caption from this picture suggests. Poor Robbie. He obliged like a gentleman, had the decency to keep his eyes open and face the right way, opted not to adopt the maniacal crazy-eye preferred by Brand and smiled politely.
Captain of his country, one World Cup, 54 international goals and he’s still just some guy.
It’s been a good week for the Paulo Di Canio brand, despite a 3-2 Capital One Cup defeat to Aston Villa for his Swindon Town side (who are seventh in League Two). Ahead of the game, the Italian reminisced on his League Cup winner for West Ham against Manchester United in 2001.
“It was like having sex with Madonna,” he said, “and beating Villa as a manager would be just as good.”
Despite Villa’s win, Di Canio believes he is going in the right direction. Even with five players injured, he said, HE dominated the game.
“If you are a good manager, you have to prove your quality. Tuesday, I dominate the game, without five players, I dominate the game! I create 17 clear chances, I was 45 (times?) in opponents’ box.”
Ballack's fine day
Spare a thought for Michael Ballack, who was up on speeding charges in Spain after being caught doing 211kph in a 120kph zone recently.