All in the Game
“I regret not being mature earlier . . . perhaps I would be like Messi today. But I’ve still got time, I can catch him up.”
– Newcastle’s Hatem Ben Arfa would want to get a move on – he’ll be 26 in a fortnight.
“I’d have to say Robin . . . as much of a good footballer as he is, he’s definitely not the brightest off the pitch and it’s just easy to get to him.”
– Wayne Rooney doffs his cap to van Persie on being asked which team-mate is the easiest target of his pranks.
“I ask myself why they get given to me. No doubt it’s because I am not someone who can pass by unnoticed. I am tall, and my hairstyle is easily recognised.”
– Everton’s Marouane Fellaini
explaining why he gets so many yellow cards. It’s his hair do.
Desperate Dan loses out
Phone-in Exchange of the Week – on BBC Radio Coventry Warwickshire, after Coventry’s game away to Crewe Alexandra: Angry Coventry supporter Dan: “I never saw that result coming tonight! 0-0?! I thought we’d at least win 1-0 or 2-0, give us something to cheer about!”
Host: “Dan? Dan? Dan? Dan?”
Dan: “We didn’t even get a goal!”
Host: “Dan? Dan? Dan? Dan?”
Dan: “What?”
Host: “We won 2-0.”
Silence.
Dan: “What?”
Dan, as the Coventry Telegraph explained, “left the game a few minutes early because he wanted to miss the traffic and get a kebab on the way home” – and Coventry scored twice.
“He will be the subject of a chant at tomorrow’s game,” they said: “Stand up if you’re leaving, Dan.”
Poor lad. (Search for “Crewe 0-2 Coventry: Dan Rings Up CWR” on YouTube and you’ll hear the full exchange in all its glory.)
Fenerbahce fans have the last say
Most Resourceful Fans of the Week: That’d be the Fenerbahce-loving bunch who were locked outside the stadium for their Europa League game against BATE Borisov, punishment for flares being thrown on the pitch during a game in December – but still managed to, well, land a flare on the pitch.
How?
With the help of a little parachute, of course.
A surface-to-air-to-surface missile, if you like.
The banner they had left draped from the stands read: “As if we were here.” They weren’t wrong.
Number of the week
999
That’s how many senior appearances Ryan Giggs has now made. Put it this way, the newer Welsh-wizard-with-a-useful-left-foot, Gareth Bale, was one and three quarters when Giggs made his debut in 1991.
