Now, I’m on the record as saying that I have a serious thing for Miriam. I’m standing there, grinning at her like a lovesick dope, to the point where I think nothing of it when someone clips something to the belt of my chinos and asks me to run a microphone wire up the back of my shirt.

(...), “It’s Ross O’Carroll-Kelly.” “Okay, come with me,” he goes, and I follow him along a corridor, then(...)

“You’re completely devoid of human feeling,” he goes. “It’s people like you who made this country great for a little while – and who’ll make it great for a little while again.”

(...) road – the traffic’s always bad on the N11.’ I love my son, but God forgive me, he’s no Ross O(...)

We’re chaperoning Honor on her first actual date. For South Dublin parents, it’s one of those landmork days in your daughter’s life, like her first visit to the orthodontist, or the first time she arrives home from studying in a friend’s house with the faint smell of spirits off her breath.

(...) you seen it?”“I wanted to go to see it, but Ross said it sounded boring.”I’m there, “I knew I wouldn(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

(...). “Sixteen, Ross!” I’m like, “Yeah, no, I know how old my own son is?” “And he’s spent the last two(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

(...) tarred Britain’s roads. Dostoevsky couldn’t have written it, Ross – he wouldn’t have bloody well dared(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

(...). Misses nothing.“Valentine’s cord?” I make the mistake of going.And she’s like, “I’m not a fool, Ross. You(...)

(...) grandingtons. A racehorse would be cheaper to run than a daughter.” “Ross, you need to talk to her.” “I(...)

Sorcha goes, “Would you two not go out somewhere?” meaning me and Honor. “Ross, why don’t you take(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

A lot of things have been said – and possibly written, for all I know – about the influence of television on the minds of, like, impressionable chi(...)