I ask Honor to check my text messages, because it’s one thing I never do while I’m driving – and anyway I’m only two points away from losing my lic(...)

So I’m in bed on Tuesday afternoon, re-watching Ireland against Wales, with my famous tactics book open in front of me, writing out the names of th(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

I never thought I’d see my teenage son back in nappies. I say it to him as well and he looks at me like I’ve just questioned his manhood. “It’s not(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

Sorcha asks me if I’d be interested in going to Lecky Picky this year. She actually calls it that as well? I’m like, “Yeah, whatever,” barely even (...)

JP’s old man says it’s a big day. And it is a big day? We’re in his Beamer Five Serious and we’re heading for Kinnegad. A development of 17 gaffs buil(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

So I’m showing three couples a house in Stoneybosher and I’m driving along the quays, practicing my spiel for them: “A great opportunity for a plumbin(...)

‘You’re very quiet this morning,” the old man goes. “I asked you a second ago if you thought Merkel and Hollande should send troops into Greece as a w(...)

I ’ve literally never been more proud of my friend, Oisinn. I say it to him as well. I’m like, “Dude, I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of you –(...)

E ven after 10 years of marriage, Sorcha hasn’t lost her ability to surprise me. We’re walking out of Donnybrook Fair, our orms laden down with bags, (...)

“Oh, the chap has his critics,” he goes. “Alleging this, that and the other. But I always say to people, ‘Do you know the real reason why he’s such a bloody titan when it comes to business? Look at his hair, for heaven’s sakes!

The first thing that hits me when I put the key in the old man’s front door is this, like, machinegun blast of obnoxious laughter – “haw, haw, haw,(...)