There’s no doubting the fact that children can surprise you with the things they come out with – and my daughter is no exception to that rule. (...)

‘Sorcha looks at me, her mouth gaping like a goldfish. I think she’s expecting me to say something in her defence.’ Illustration: Alan Clarke

T he old man is at the door at ridiculous o’clock in the morning with a face like a double bass. He’s there, “I came as soon as I read it,” and I pres(...)

Ronan is sitting in the middle of the living room, holding court, with all his friends – Nudger, Gull and the famous Buckets of Blood – gathered ar(...)

J P’s old man greets us at the front door with a smile and a handshake for me and a hug for Sorcha that ever so slightly crosses the line that sepa(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

Honor asks what the fock we’re doing here. There’s literally no Christmas cheer in the girl, even though it’s only however many days to go until th(...)

My wife’s latest scheme to suck all of the joy out of Christmas is called degifting? It’s basically a no-present amnesty you agree with your neares(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

The old dear rings in a terrible state. I go, “Alright, Cruella de Vodka? What’s up?”She’s there, “Ross, something terrible has happened!” and her voi(...)

The old man arrives, full of the literally joys. He goes, “Is your good lady wife home?” at the top of his voice. “Or should I say the future N(...)

Thirty seconds later, she appears at the top of the escalator, looking like Brad and Angelina’s nanny, the kids following three or four steps behind her.

Me and Sorcha are wandering around Dundrum with our daughter’s Santa list, which looks like the kind of document that negotiators get handed in hos(...)

The most exciting day of the school year for a lot of South Dublin mums and dads is the day of the parent-teacher meeting. We arrive at the school in (...)