I’m there, “We could just leave her here. She wouldn’t know her way back to the Vico Road. Hopefully, they’ll just deport her.” Sorcha considers this for a surprising length of time, then goes, “No, let’s go and get her.”

She’s only been in the country two weeks, but Pang is finding her way around Brown Thomas, in fairness to the girl. Me and Sorcha are following her(...)

Sorcha looks terrified. She is terrified. But then I’m terrified, too. She goes, “Do you think we should wake her up?” She’s talking about (...)

(See also - Feature: How Ross O'Carroll-Kelly was born) It’s here. A day I thought would never come. Our daughter is going to China for three m(...)

I was sitting in Kielys of Donnybrook Town recently with my famous tactics book in front of me, scribbling down a few thoughts I had about the beautif(...)

Our daughter is missing at Electric Picnic. I’ll say that again – just in case you missed it. Our daughter . . . is missing . . . at Electric P(...)

Honor takes one look at our tent-slash-tipi and I know exactly what’s going through her mind. It’s the exact same thing that’s going through mine. (...)

The old man is holding court in the middle of the No 27 bor – out of his bin, of course – going, “More Champagne . . . Judge, you’ll have another g(...)

I ask Honor to check my text messages, because it’s one thing I never do while I’m driving – and anyway I’m only two points away from losing my lic(...)

So I’m in bed on Tuesday afternoon, re-watching Ireland against Wales, with my famous tactics book open in front of me, writing out the names of th(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

I never thought I’d see my teenage son back in nappies. I say it to him as well and he looks at me like I’ve just questioned his manhood. “It’s not(...)