I’m like, “I haven’t come here to mock. I mean, I could say that all of that silicone you’ve had injected into your forehead over the years has made you look like a demented halibut. But I’m not going to.”

Abigail Markham is losing her house. It’s the old, old story. Could happen to any one of us. She and her husband, Don, borrowed €96 million from the b(...)

We’re chaperoning Honor on her first actual date. For South Dublin parents, it’s one of those landmork days in your daughter’s life, like her first visit to the orthodontist, or the first time she arrives home from studying in a friend’s house with the faint smell of spirits off her breath.

It’s a very exciting day for me and Sorcha. We’re chaperoning Honor on her first actual date. For South Dublin parents, it’s one of those landmork day(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

The old man says it’s like looking for a proverbial what’s-it in a bloody well what’s-it. He’s pacing backwards and forwards and smoking like a cre(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

The old man looks up from his newspaper and goes, “Wouldn’t it gladden your heart all the same, Kicker? Fine Gael and Labour in power and socialist(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

We’re having risotto for dinner. Risotto from the Italian word risot, which means to sell baby food to adults for €2 per spoonful. We’ll know that the(...)

My phone rings while I’m doing my sit-ups – five hundred – in the living room. It’s, like, a number I don’t recognise, but I answer it anyway. A wo(...)

Sorcha goes, “Would you two not go out somewhere?” meaning me and Honor. “Ross, why don’t you take her to Dundrum and buy her something really expensi(...)

Illustration: Alan Clarke

A lot of things have been said – and possibly written, for all I know – about the influence of television on the minds of, like, impressionable chi(...)

There’s no doubting the fact that children can surprise you with the things they come out with – and my daughter is no exception to that rule. (...)

‘Sorcha looks at me, her mouth gaping like a goldfish. I think she’s expecting me to say something in her defence.’ Illustration: Alan Clarke

T he old man is at the door at ridiculous o’clock in the morning with a face like a double bass. He’s there, “I came as soon as I read it,” and I pres(...)