Photograph: Thinkstock

I was trying to do adding-up in my head, because the electronic calculator on my phone was causing me serious stress. The decimal point kept jumpin(...)

Gwyneth Paltrow looking good in an Aran sweater

I had an Aran jumper when I was child. I wasn’t alone; everyone in my suburban universe had an Aran jumper. People with cloudy midriffs and glasses(...)

One Direction fan Shannon Brown outside the SSE Arena in Belfast. Photograph: Pacemaker

Apparently, Louis and Zélie Martin, the parents of St Thérèse of Lisieux, “the Little Flower”, have been canonised, the first married couple to be (...)

Dickie Rock. Photograph: Eric Luke

‘We saw Dickie Rock.” “Did you?” “We did. We hung on for him. Had a go in the vibrating chair while we waited.” “How was it?” “The (...)

Photograph: Thinkstock

If I suddenly turn up as a hit-and-run victim, my rumpled corpse reposing on the kerbside next to a collaterally damaged brown bin, my slumped, unr(...)

Photograph: Thinkstock

Fhuust flaww. Sekond flaww. Thuud flaww. Faawth flaww. I’ve been riding a lot of hospital lifts lately, gaily sailing up and down in a metal bo(...)

Photograph: Thinkstock

I decluttered the attic, moved a desk into it and made myself “a room of my own”. Sounds simple; it wasn’t. Among other unexpected consequences, I (...)

Image: Thinkstock

There’s every possibility, of course, that you’re not reading this. Every possibility that you and your bowl of cornflakes have, by now, been reduc(...)

Photograph: Frank Miller

My mother fell. She got out of bed at 4am, and fell. Her personal emergency device, which should have been around her neck, wasn’t. The following m(...)

Photograph: Alan Betson

I finished the edits on the book I’ve been working on. Which is to say, the deadline arrived and two men with big nets and steel-capped boots pulle(...)