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Sat 12 Dec 2009'What were you doing? Checking out the Budget?'

Christian, my best friend in the world, is home from the States for Christmas – and something’s playing on his mind

WHAT HAS Cameron Diaz done to her boat? I’m sitting in Mickey Ds at the bottom of Grafton Street, checking out her new cheek implants on my iPhone, even showing them to Honor – although just the odd one, because I don’t want her having nightmares. “Look at her,” I go. “She’s got a face like a bee-keeper’s glove.”

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