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CURIOSITIES: THE HORSE IS a noble animal, fine to look upon. But for me it is not to be sat upon. I gingerly swung myself into the saddle of my first mount, made the right noises to get the beast going, and then the saddle slipped, my head hit a gatepost, and that was that. Do horses laugh? I think so, or at least they snicker. This one did, leering at me as I dabbed the welling blood from my brow. I later discovered that it was called Calamity Jane.

It bared its teeth in a triumphant rictus as its owner whipped my foot from the stirrup and hauled me up. He ran a country pub in Yorkshire and had a huge grey as his particular mount, and sometimes, when the fancy took him, he would head off up wide Wensleydale or steep Swaledale and be gone for days.