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One of the few men in the western world yet to have seen ‘Star Wars’, 29-year-old TIM JONZEtries to piece the plot together from what he thinks he knows – before comparing his version with George Lucas’s

I MUST BE one of the only people who have never seen Star Wars. Or so it feels. I’m not sure what I was doing between the ages of five and 29, but somehow I managed to avoid this rite of passage. It wasn’t for lack of trying. My dad tells me we sat down to watch it twice, but both times I fell asleep before we were half an hour in. Space battles and lasers? I was much more interested in playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.