Thinking Anew: Bad behaviour is too often tolerated

Zacchaeus is a rather repulsive character. The Sunday Gospel clearly identifies his undesirability. His job as an outsourced tax-collector who cheated people should make it difficult to warm to him but that is not the case. Zacchaeus is one of the best-loved Bible characters and is up there with Noah as a children’s favourite.

His popularity is a rare example of faith in action. Of all the sinners in the Gospel he is probably the nastiest, yet he is the only one we have forgiven. Murderers, cynics and adulterers are remembered for their acts but the extortionist bully walks free.

Maybe that is because we have become miserably accepting of long-term unkindness. His crimes were not once-off. Like so many of his kind, his harmfulness went on and on. Without denying Zacchaeus his restoration, we should still be challenged if we do the same or enable it.

It is easy to make another person’s life a misery. So easy that it can often be difficult to notice we are doing it to each other. We even have common terms to deny it. Excusing our bad behaviour as part of a social culture or as banter is no relief to the person it hurt.

The worst of Zacchaeus’s unkindness is often reserved for the people who are closest to us. Quite often they tolerate it with great patience. Sometimes, tormentors are unaware of their actions because nobody lets them know. Often that is out of fear, but apathy is also common.

Enduring honour

When love is present it makes excuses for continued bad behaviour. Love is the reason why so many of us put up with the mistreatment we receive from those around us. It’s not his fault. She doesn’t really mean it. He has his problems. She’s going through a tough time. There are many kindly things we say about the unkind.

Our tolerance is one of the greatest enablers of our own abuse. A simple invitation from Jesus was enough to make Zacchaeus see his own wrongdoing and decide to change his ways. That is a decision we still honour many centuries later.

That enduring honour should be inspiring. It is a very brave admission that there is no person, no matter how bad, that cannot become a better person.

An uncomfortable balance between wealth and honour is one of Christianity’s weakest selling points in OECD countries. Our endless need for awards, promotions, titles, mentions, certificates, kudos and other superficial compliments is an attempt to avoid one simple truth. No person is ever honoured for their wealth, a person is only ever honoured for how they treat others. Zacchaeus was bad to the bone but decided to change and is still very much honoured and even loved.

Treating others badly isn’t the preserve of the wealthy. Bullying, intimidation, isolation, control and put-downs are not the preserve of any age, sex, class, creed or pigment. All of us are equally capable of creating misery, just as all of us are equally likely to experience it.

Sometimes we should challenge the excuses, humour and mercy that we demand or extend to unkindness. Our personal cases might not be as extreme a story as Zacchaeus and the people he extorted money from, but asking if we expect too much from those we encounter is an honest question.

If the answer is yes, the good news is that Zacchaeus was a little man but he was big enough to change, thus earning our enduring love and respect.