‘Not what we talk about mostly,’ bishop says of sex in marriage

“The Australian couple who spoke first were quite explicit and developed in their emphasis on the central role of sexuality, of sexual intercourse in marriage. Now that’s not what we Bishops talk about mostly.”

The speaker is Cardinal Vincent Nichols, the Archbishop of Westminster and he was reflecting today at a Vatican news conference on the peculiar nature of the current Catholic church synod on the family, now in its second working day.

In general, he said, the synod thus far has been marked by a “lovely spirit of lightness and atmosphere” and “a real sense of our own sharing and walking together”.

Thus far, too, the synod has been marked by plenty of talking with 70 papers having already been read at the first two sessions, yesterday evening and this morning.

With today’s theme being Biblical Teaching and The Family, inevitably much of the discussion was focussed on problems that couples encounter.

Cardinal Nichols suggested that many bishops agreed on the need to “approach the social reality of marriage with a friendly dialogue”.

The cardinal recalled a marriage over which he had presided when he was a priest in Liverpool. He recalled that the couple had taken a seemingly spartan approach to the marriage, using the parish hall and offering their guests a bowl of soup and a glass of beer at their reception.

However, that did not stop them hiring a Rolls Royce, at great expense, in order to drive around the parish three times.

“I said to them, would it not be better to spend that money on a house? There is something very precious in that moment but I would say that it should be done with moderation.”

Vatican spokesman Canadian Fr Tom Rosica pointed out that many of the synod fathers had expressed their gratitude for the feedback offered by the responses to the 39-point questionnaire which contributed to the Instrumentum Laboris, or synod working document.

However, some of the bishops expressed their reservations about the interpretation of a document which had asked the faithful about marriage, divorce, same sex unions, contraception and much else.

“There is a danger, such as has happened in many cases, that the survey (questionnaire) could be interpreted as a survey of public opinion in which people just tick off boxes,” he said. “There was the very positive element re the survey, with many lay people expressing gratitude for having been consulted for the first time.

“But there was also the risk, the flip side that it can become simply a sociological exercise that appears in newspapers and eventually leads to headlines which say that everyone is against the teachings of the church,” he said.

Given that reporters are not allowed to attend the synod sessions, it is difficult to assess just how the discussions are being followed by Pope Francis who will be present for every session over the next two weeks.

However, judging from the opening session – the only one relayed live – Francis is following everything very carefully, reading the texts and taking notes.

For those who hope for changes from this synod, however, the Holy See’s own summary of that same opening session contained one significant observation: “Another essential point is the rejection of clericalism: at times the Church seems more concerned with power than with service, and for this reason she does not inspire the hearts of men and women. It is therefore necessary to return to the imitation of Christ, and to rediscover humility: the reform of the Church must begin with the reform of the clergy.”

At the end of last night’s opening day, the synod moved away from family issues for a moment to focus on world politics, opting to send “a message of encouragement and appreciation to families in Iraq, threatened by extermination perpetrated by Islamic fundamentalists and forced to flee so as not to renounce their faith.”

The synod closes on October 19th.