Say hello to Conan T Barbarian, Trinity's new doctor of tyrant slayings


TRINITY COLLEGE Dublin says it is taking seriously an incident in which a profile page, complete with image, was inserted on its website for a fake staff member named “Dr Conan T Barbarian”.

The page appeared on the TCD school of English website on Wednesday night and could still be accessed until about 9.30am yesterday, at which stage it was removed.

The staff listings were also amended to include the name of “Dr Barbarian”, while his own personal page bore an image of actor Arnold Schwarzenegger in Conan guise from the 1982 movie.

His full title and academic qualifications were given as: “Dr Conan T Barbarian, BA (Cimmeria) PhD. (UCD). FTCD (Long Room Hub Associate Professor in Hyborian Studies and Tyrant Slaying).”

His profile indicated he had been “ripped from his mother’s womb on the corpse-strewn battlefields of his war-torn homeland, Cimmeria, and has been preparing for academic life ever since.

“A firm believer in the dictum that ‘that which does not kill us makes us stronger’, he took time out to avenge the death of his parents following a sojourn pursuing his strong interest in post-colonial theory at the Sorbonne.”

The profile went on to say Dr Barbarian completed his PhD, entitled “To Hear The Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature” at UCD and was appointed to the school of English in 2006, “after successfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song”.

It continued: “He strongly objects to the terms of the Croke Park agreement and the current trend for remaking 1980s films that he believes were perfectly good enough in the first place.”

A spokeswoman for Trinity College Dublin spokeswoman said the amendment to the website was not a “hacking”. She said the site had not been externally hacked, but said she could not comment further as she did not have the full facts.

Asked whether any other data was likely to have been compromised, the spokeswoman said it was “highly unlikely”.

“I can’t really comment on it further. It is being looked into and it’s being taken seriously,” she said.