TIME OUT:Psychological research is sparse on this subject, writes MARIE MURRAY
IS THERE anyone in the world as versatile as “yer man”? Yer man is everywhere. If there is a job to be done, yer man can do it. If you need an electrician, a carpenter, a plumber, a painter, a gardener, a gaffer or any man, for any purpose, then all you have to do is to call upon yer man. Yer man “contains multitudes”, to quote Walt Whitman. He is whatever identity is required.
Psychological research is sparse on yer man. It hasn’t come to terms with the eclectic personality of yer man. He might fall into discussion on alter egos except that he’s more than an aspect, he’s an entity. He could be categorised in terms of multiple personality or dissociative identity, but he himself is neither fragmented nor deluded, disintegrated, splintered or grandiose: his versatility is created by others. He is stable, reliable, sociable and co-operative. He’s extroverted and multi-talented.
There’s yer man down the road, yer man on the team, yer man who scored the try, who ran the mile, who sailed the world, and yer man in the golf club playing off seven. He goes to the dogs. He has hot tips on horses, he’s at Leopardstown, Punchestown, Cheltenham. He’s a great one for sport. He can be hard to keep up with, yer man.
There’s yer man in the bank, yer man in government, yer man who won the lotto, yer man who did us proud and yer man who made a holy show of us. You never know what he’ll do or where he’ll turn up. He’s an enigma. He can even transubstantiate – as in “a pint of plain being yer only man”.
Everyone knows yer man and yer man knows everyone. He will always help with a job or know a man who can if he can’t. Yer man is everyman: he is all men and all things to all men and beloved of women. You can’t but be astounded at the talents of yer man.
Yer man is everywhere. There is no event at which someone does not mention yer man. He is there with his wife; he is there alone, with his girlfriend, with a group. He’s the life and soul of the party. He’s the fellow in the corner. He is there officially as guest of honour or there illegally sneaked in. Whatever his role, he’s yer man.
So eponymous is yer man in Irish idiom, that disputes occasionally arise about whether it was “yer man” or “yer man” who somebody saw at a function, and astonishingly these can be resolved by agreement that it was “yer man”. Few men are as ubiquitous as yer man. Yer man is everywhere.
Yer man is the person we remember when we cannot recall a name. Sometimes he becomes “yer man, what’s his name?” But if his name can’t be found, it’s irrelevant because everyone knows who you mean when you say “yer man”. Surrogate descriptor when memory fails, yer man is on reserve when recall lets you down. He’s a most obliging fellow, yer man.
People reminisce about yer man, his exploits, the incidents involving him, the days when yer man was at his most vibrant, most fun. People grieve for yer man when he dies, remember him fondly, remember themselves when they were young and yer man was a part of their lives. He is much loved, yer man and yer woman is lost without him. Nobody can imagine how yer woman will fare when she loses yer man. He’s a loss to all.
Back in the days when there was courting before copulation, when young girls eyed young men from a distance at dances and young men were diffident when asking them to dance, girls were always interested in yer man, especially if yer man was a new feature on the floor.
“Who’s yer man?”, they’d whisper to each other swivelling nonchalantly as they scanned the cluster of young men at the end of a hall. And there was never a thrill so great as being told that “yer man fancied you” especially if you fancied yer man.
But that day is gone and yer man has changed. But then so has “yer woman” and it is time that psychology paid more attention to both of them. After all, didn’t it all begin when yer woman tempted yer man and yer man gave in? Now psychology should study that.
Marie Murray is a clinical psychologist and author and Irish Timeshealth columnist