A look at the types you might meet on a typlical campus
How to spot themIf his collar is turned up and he mentions his training schedule as part of his chat-up line, watch out – you may be about to kiss a jock.
Where to find themAt whatever drinking hole is closest to the rugby pitches, or in Kiely’s of Donnybrook. Wherever you find them, they are pack animals so don’t attempt to infiltrate the herd unless you have something female to offer.
Courses of choiceMorketing or Business
Jock essentialsA large coterie of schoolmates in deck shoes that never leave his side. A jock is fixated on his glory days on the Senior Cup Team and will attempt to recreate the all-boys private school ambience wherever he goes for the rest of his natural life.
Famous jocksBrian ODriscoll
How to spot themGeeks come into their own in college. After ploughing a lonely furrow in secondary school, all of a sudden they find themselves in the midst of a class of like-minded individuals. Awkward is acceptable, using your brain is cool and geek is totally chic. Don’t get us wrong, teenage scars run deep and a lack of confidence distinguishes the geek from the hipster. Sartorially the two are similar, but the geek wears his horn rims and unusual haircut without the irony.
The thing to remember is that college is where the geeks come into their own. All through school they’ve been slagged for their lack of coolness. Now theyre realising that trying to be cool isnt cool. In fact, who gives a toss?
Geeks come in all shapes and sizes – cute girls in clunky shoes, gentle goths with piercings and long leather coats, sweet boys with unfortunate haircuts. They find each other and realise that suddenly, outsiders are in.
Where to find themIts a terrible cliché but the bulk of geeks are to be found in the science block and the computer rooms. You will find geeks in the arts block but they are fewer and further between. Groups are to be found in the gaming societies, playing World of Warcraft long into the night. The sci fi society will harbour a large number as well – Dungeons and Dragons and Game of Thrones is more their bag.
If you want to find some on a night out, find a pub – the dingier the better. Death metal and specialist electronica would be the music of choice. Dancing isnt likely although geeks arent above a bit of moshing if a situation allows.
Courses of choiceComputer science, biotechnology, classics, maths and engineering.
Geek essentialsGame of Thrones and Doctor Who box sets. Radiohead special vinyl editions. Type O Negative t-shirts, jumpers with which you have at least five years of history. Badscience.net is their website of choice when they need to explain complex issues of research to civilians.
Famous geeksMark Zuckerberg, Lisa Simpson, Lady Gaga, Steve Wozniak, Peter Higgs
3 COUNTY COLOURS CREW
How to spot themHale and hearty complexions crowned by a fine head of hair. Jeans or tracksuit bottoms paired with runners and a county jersey or a hoodie is the campus uniform of choice, although when the CC Crew makes an effort, they scrub up fierce well.
The accents are wide ranging but the common denominator is the ABD (anywhere but Dublin) factor. The GAA is a big thing but a CC Crew member could just as easily have grown up playing rugby or soccer.
The non-Dublinness of this group is the defining characteristic. They may be from Galway city, but in Dublin, they’re rural and proud.
Where to find themThe CC Crew comes into its own in Dublin. Its members are to be found all over the country but they really come on strong inside the Pale. Theyre a conscientious group so will be found on their way to lectures or hanging around the college canteens, grabbing a cuppa before hitting the books.
Theyre always to be seen on the quays, waiting for the bus home on a Friday afternoon, or in Heuston or Connolly stations preparing to catch the trains.
In Dublin, Coppers and Flannerys are the night-time hotspots. Neil Diamond sits comfortably with David Guetta and Lady Gaga in the DJ set and everyone gets on the dancefloor for Galway Girl and The Hills of Donegal.
Courses of choicePrimary teaching, Irish and geography, agricultural science, engineering, nursing.
Famous CC Crew membersSile Seoige, Tommy Bowe, Bressie, Kathryn Thomas.
How to spot themHeavy-fringed girls and boys in glasses that weren’t prescribed.
Clothes that match in some alternate universe. High tops and shirts buttoned to the neck.
Why do you hate them so much?Because theyre cooler than you.
Where to find themYou can’t. You’re not hip enough to know what cool club theyre hanging out in and by the time youve found it, its not cool anymore.
Hipster EssentialsMoustaches, indie music on oversized headphones, cardigans, porkpie hats, pipes.
Courses of choiceSomething in the digital media sphere
Famous HipstersJarvis Cocker, Johnny Depp, Zooey Deschanel