College Tribes

A look at the types you might meet on a typlical campus

1 JOCKS

How to spot themIf his collar is turned up and he mentions his training schedule as part of his chat-up line, watch out – you may be about to kiss a jock.

Where to find themAt whatever drinking hole is closest to the rugby pitches, or in Kiely’s of Donnybrook. Wherever you find them, they are pack animals so don’t attempt to infiltrate the herd unless you have something female to offer.

Courses of choiceMorketing or Business

Jock essentialsA large coterie of schoolmates in deck shoes that never leave his side. A jock is fixated on his glory days on the Senior Cup Team and will attempt to recreate the all-boys private school ambience wherever he goes for the rest of his natural life.

Famous jocksBrian ODriscoll

2 GEEKS

How to spot themGeeks come into their own in college. After ploughing a lonely furrow in secondary school, all of a sudden they find themselves in the midst of a class of like-minded individuals. Awkward is acceptable, using your brain is cool and geek is totally chic. Don’t get us wrong, teenage scars run deep and a lack of confidence distinguishes the geek from the hipster. Sartorially the two are similar, but the geek wears his horn rims and unusual haircut without the irony.

The thing to remember is that college is where the geeks come into their own. All through school they’ve been slagged for their lack of coolness. Now theyre realising that trying to be cool isnt cool. In fact, who gives a toss?

Geeks come in all shapes and sizes – cute girls in clunky shoes, gentle goths with piercings and long leather coats, sweet boys with unfortunate haircuts. They find each other and realise that suddenly, outsiders are in.

Where to find themIts a terrible cliché but the bulk of geeks are to be found in the science block and the computer rooms. You will find geeks in the arts block but they are fewer and further between. Groups are to be found in the gaming societies, playing World of Warcraft long into the night. The sci fi society will harbour a large number as well – Dungeons and Dragons and Game of Thrones is more their bag.

If you want to find some on a night out, find a pub – the dingier the better. Death metal and specialist electronica would be the music of choice. Dancing isnt likely although geeks arent above a bit of moshing if a situation allows.

Courses of choiceComputer science, biotechnology, classics, maths and engineering.

Geek essentialsGame of Thrones and Doctor Who box sets. Radiohead special vinyl editions. Type O Negative t-shirts, jumpers with which you have at least five years of history. Badscience.net is their website of choice when they need to explain complex issues of research to civilians.

Famous geeksMark Zuckerberg, Lisa Simpson, Lady Gaga, Steve Wozniak, Peter Higgs