All this will come to pass . . .
You may not believe it now but the following 14 things are going to happen to you at college, writes Grainne Faller. Don’t fight it – enjoy it. It’s all part of the game
1 You’ll meet the love of your lifeOne of them anyway. Loads of people meet their future spouses and partners in college. Yet more have long-term relationships. It’s that thing that happens when lots of young, likeminded strangers are thrown together
2 You’ll suffer a case (or three) of snogger’s remorseThe lights were low, the drinks were flowing, it was late and somehow you thought kissing him (or her) would be a good idea. Why did you do it? And why, oh why did you give them your number?
The text messages are relentless and you feel their eyes burning into the back of your head in your physics lecture. What’s more, they’re going around telling everyone you’re a couple. Aaarrgh!
3 You’ll lie about your ageYou turn 18 and all of a sudden everyone’s going to the club that’s for over 21s. Mask that sinking feeling when you’re approaching the bouncers with confidence. Believe you’re 23 and they might just let you away with it.
4 You’ll open too many bank accountsDesperate for your business, the banks are all offering free stuff, so you lodge a tenner, get the freebie, go to the ATM, withdraw the tenner. Easy.
5 You’ll have profound conversations in someone’s kitchen at three in the morningNobody knows why, but people end up chatting in the kitchen at parties. Tea, toast and philosophy are a heady combination.
6 You’ll wake up somewhere strangeRandom house parties go on all night. Waking up under a piano, in an avocado bathroom or under a pile of coats at the bottom of the stairs wondering how the hell you got there is practically a rite of passage.
7 You’ll have great intentions about that Friday morning lecture . . .. . . But you’ll never, ever make it.
8 You’ll pull many all-nightersParties, cramming, occasionally both. Sleep might be short on the ground but caffeinated wakefulness is part of the college experience.
9 You’ll get locked out of the libraryYou left your books in there to grab a bite to eat. Three pints and a spot of karaoke later the sinking realisation will dawn that the library is closed, your books are in there and your chances of passing that test tomorrow have suddenly plummeted.
10 You’ll substitute far too many meals with cheese on toast or Koka NoodlesQuick and easy counts for a lot but home cooking will take on a whole new level of joy. Your mother will be delighted.
11 You’ll dabble in unusual pursuitsThere’s always the odd smug fresher who’ll boast about only joining two societies during Freshers’ Week.
Most people, however, get totally carried away and end up joining all and sundry with great intentions of learning Mandarin, how to juggle and gaining a blackbelt in karate. In reality, you’ll probably go to a couple of classes and leave it there, but heck, you never know, maybe you’ll find your calling on the trampoline.
12 You’ll get 500 new Facebook friendsYou’ll never speak to most of these again. A handful though will prove to be lifelong mates. You’ll wonder how you ever did without them.
13 You’ll owe the library a ridiculous amount of moneyYou borrow the books. Why can’t you just use them and return them within the given time? Nobody knows the answer.
14 You’ll do loads more stuff that we can’t possibly printJust stay safe and make sure your parents never, ever find out.