Róisín Ingle on . . . a problem shared
You know sometimes how you admit something to a friend and they say “me too” and just in those two words the light shifts, the world looks a bit different, the problem seems to, if not, shrink than at least lose potency? Well last week’s column was like that. I’m not suggesting every couple in Ireland with small children is in the same state of chassis that we are, but there are more of us in that boat than are letting on.
Some of you emailed me. You said: “I read it at 6am while wedged between my two restless babies and felt like it was written for me . . . we all need to be more open about this topic.”
And: “I think we all got used to nice lives as couples going out, going on nice holidays, focusing on our careers and then next thing kids arrive. The recession kicks in. People lose jobs and take hefty pay cuts just at the time they need more money. And there is so much focus on the kids and the bills that the ‘relationship’ gets lost somewhere, in some cases forever but hopefully not for everyone.”
Also: “For all of us who are struggling to survive it is nice to know we are not alone. Let’s hope the hard work pays off . . . ”
I don’t know how any of these stories will end but I know I feel better for having been open about mine.
You don’t have to shout it from the rooftops like I did, but whatever is getting you down, holding you back or fuelling your pain in life there is something magical about sharing it with someone else. It’s the oldest trick in the self-healing book. I hope anybody who needs to can find a way to safely let it all out.
And for those of you wanting to know: When he eventually got around to reading it, my boyfriend loved the column. (Phew.)