Talk to me
We can’t predict precisely what’s going to happen with this new Irish Times column. You the readers will make the column yours by sharing personal issues that you’d like some help with. The column will be a safe space in which to share both in the newspaper and online.
Tell Me About It
Tell Me About It will appear weekly in The Irish Times Life page and online at irishtimes.com, starting next Tuesday, March 5th.
Send your problems or questions to email@example.com.
Questions will be published only on an anonymous basis.
'MEN HAVE TO BE FED AND AMUSED' ADVICE OF YESTERYEAR:
Q. ‘Corinne’ is a bride and poet who forgot to order dinner while finishing a sonnet on ‘Wedded Love’, prompting her first marital quarrel.
A. The Weekly Magazine, 1859, advises: Your first duty now is to your husband. No wife should have a soul above buttons [ie, sewing them on] nor should she ignore the fact that man’s heart lies very near his stomach.
Q . A woman complained that her husband was ratty when he returned home from work.
A. Mary Holmes, Lucky Star, 1948 replies: Have you thought of sharing the gardening? Are you bright and welcoming and understanding? Men are rather like children in a way – they have to be fed and amused.
Q. ‘Disgruntled’ asks: My wife seems to think that I ought to help her in the evenings. I work very hard all day and she has only a tiny flat to look after. She always has the day’s washing-up to do and the place is never cosy or tidy. What attitude should I take up?
A. Weldon’s Bazaar, 1936 replies: Could you get her to write to me so that I could plan her day for her, leaving her with plenty of leisure to spend with you in the evening?
Q. Dear Angela, My husband strikes me and slaps me across the face when he is angry. I don’t mind being struck so much but I wish he wouldn’t do it in front of the children. . .I’m depressed. I’m only 32 and if I’d my life to live again wouldn’t marry.
A. Angela Macnamara, Sunday Press, 1965: Can you be unselfish enough – and it takes great spirit – to love your husband and show him that you need him? Do little things he likes you to do and praise any effort on his part. Your doctor may be able to help you get over your depression.
Q. Dear Angela, Would you please write something in your column about the married seducers that are filling our dancehalls.. . .The girls seem to have so little hesitation in flirting with the married man and it’s not only mild flirtation. . .If provocative girls mad to get a man fill the dancehalls then weak men are going to make hay while the sun shines.
A. Angela Macnamara, Sunday Press, 1976: In all the current talk about women’s lib I think we very often forget to consider women’s strength and their consequent responsibilities. Once a woman see herself as a “man hunter” she tends, not only to lower her own dignity and lose the respect of men but also to encourage the lowering the standards and sense of responsibility of men.