Sex, every day, for a year. Even when tired
Five years ago, two couples embarked on sex marathons to boost their relationships. Is it still good for them?
‘I can’t believe we did the whole thing. We had little kids, too – our days were just exhausting. Annie and I were both shattered. How did we do it?” says Douglas Brown.
Do it they did, though: every day, for 101 days. Charla and Brad Muller, though, did better: they managed the full 365. Can you imagine? Sex, every day, for a whole year. Even when you’re knackered. Even when you’re barely speaking to each other. Even when there are lots of things you’d rather be doing: hot bath/good book; footie on the box; clean the goldfish bowl?
Shortly after their respective, self-imposed marathon sex ordeals – perhaps inevitably – two books appeared. One was called Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!) and the other 365 Nights: a Memoir of Intimacy. When the books came out, this newspaper interviewed their authors: first Doug and Annie, then Charla and Brad.
That was five years ago. So how are things going now? What effect have these two barely imaginable bonkathons had on their relationships? Are they all still at it?
In short, the answer is yes. “Not once a day,” says Annie quickly, down the line from Denver, Colorado. “I’m 45 now – the menopause is starting to rear its ugly head. In terms of life cycles, I’m definitely on the other side of my sexual peak. We try for once or twice a week, but we have a really small house and the kids don’t have bedtimes any more. There are weeks we don’t manage it. But you know what? If we hadn’t done 101 days, I don’t think we’d understand the importance of sex in our relationship. That’s the real thing.”
Annie explains further: “When you’re in the tunnel of childrearing and career-building, that whole side of things just tends to get put on the back burner. People really don’t understand that sex is the glue that keeps you together. The physical in a relationship is the foundation it’s built on.”
Doug, a journalist on the Denver Post, agrees: “We did still have a sex life,” he says. “We communicated pretty well. But life just got in the way. Work, money, kids. It’s easy to lose that time for each other in a relationship.”