Róisín Ingle . . . on a triathlon with Bressie (sort of)

Such are the wonders of modern technology that the other day I found myself on Twitter sort-of volunteering to do a triathlon. I say sort-of because I know myself well enough by now to be aware that the fantasies flitting through my head on a daily basis – I have a fitness “routine”, I drink two litres of water a day, I really enjoy wearing Lycra – are unlikely to ever be realised.

The problem is that those “mean what they say” types such as Niall Breslin (you may also know him as Bressie), take you seriously when you sort-of volunteer for this kind of thing. So, for appearances sake, I’ve been (sort of) doing some research.

See, I’m fond of Bressie. Not like that, I swear. It’s in a more wholesome way. I don’t generally see age (he’s much younger) or relationship status (he’s in one) as a barrier to admiration, but the sad truth is that he is just way too tall for me to harbour any other feelings.

I once bumped into him in a gym near my home. I was only there to collect my children from an activity; he was doing actual gym-related things. We exchanged pleasantries. Then, inspired by his commitment to the active and healthy life, I ordered a chicken salad instead of a club sandwich in the gym’s cafe.

I proudly informed Bressie of that later via social media. He in turned revealed that he had gone off and had a southern fried chicken roll after meeting me. Make of that what you will.

Bressie has done a lot to change the conversation on this issue. His book Me and My Mate Jeffrey is an honest and powerful account of his struggle with mental health issues. And he recently started a wellbeing movement with some like-minded individuals called "A Lust for Life". He is using his celebrity and life experiences to change this country for the better, and I have huge respect for him.

Still, a triathalon might be taking that respect too far.

So to the research. The Lust for Life triathlon takes place in July in Belvedere House and Gardens in Mullingar, Co Westmeath, in beautiful rolling countryside. The swim part is 500m. In a lake.

Some of my colleagues in The Irish Times have spent the past few months training and completing a Swim for a Mile project. It's been inspiring to see them, especially the one who couldn't swim the length of himself when he started, become proper swimmers. They swam the mile last week, which is 1,600 odd metres. So, with training, the can-do part of me thinks 500m might be doable.

The cycling part is 18km. I did that on the Greenway in Co Mayo recently. Admittedly, we stopped around 17 times along the way, but we still did it. And cycling is probably the only form of exercise I can hand-on-heart say I enjoy. The cycling would be grand.

The run part, I was relieved to see, is 4km. Four is a nice number, much nicer than 10 or 20. If I did it I wouldn’t be running. I am a walker, if I am anything. So 4km is possibly doable.

The fantasy urge to do something, or to try to do something, seems to be getting stronger as I get older. It’s becoming clear to me that if I don’t start moving a bit on a regular basis, I might wake up one morning to find I can hardly move at all.

Angela Rippon has compounded these fears. The 71-year-old former newsreader has been starring in the BBC documentary How to Stay Young. My mother (75) has been quite absorbed in it, particularly the "Sit to Rise" test which involves standing, then crossing your legs and lowering yourself to the ground using as little support as possible. Then you are supposed to stand up, without leaning on any part of the body.

You start on 10 points and deduct points for every time you used your hands, arms or knees to stand up. You lose half a point for wobbling. A score of 8-10 says you will lead a long and healthy life. The lower you score, the more years are cut off your life, or something like that.

Swotty Angela Rippon can do it no bother, but my mother is not even going to attempt such a thing. I couldn’t even Sit to Rise when I was 17, so I don’t think I’ll bother either.

However, according to my research, “anyone can do a triathlon” and also “if you’re in search of fitness and looking for a rewarding challenge, Triathlon is for you”.

All I’m saying is that I am thinking about it. (Well, sort of.)

A Lust For Life triathlon takes place on July 9th. For information, go to alustforlife.com