Mark Paul: Men feel alienated from the feminist debate

How to be a Man: The Women’s Podcast discusses masculinity, feminism and rape culture

The ’Not All Men’ hashtag on Twitter alerts feminists all over the globe who are aware of it to say: “look at this idiot, look at what he’s just said, let’s all come in and laugh at him,” according to Irish Times business affairs correspondent, Mark Paul.

“If we’ve #NotallMen’d his ass it shows that he’s clearly an idiot and he doesn’t have to be listened to. It’s a delegitimisation tactic,” he told Kathy Sheridan, presenter of the Women’s Podcast.

The journalist was taking part in a lively debate on masculinity with fellow Irish Times journalist Patrick Freyne and Men’s Sheds founder John Evoy, on the latest episode, part of the How to be a Man series.

While Freyne identifies as a feminist, Paul said he does not and he feels that some tactics like #NotallMen are used to alienate men from the conversation. But Freyne said that's often exactly the point.

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“Some of those discussions that men feel alienated from, they’re meant to feel alienated from. They’re discussions that aren’t designed for men. We can learn from them, but I think we’re meant to listen,” he said.

The panel also discussed the notion of rape culture, which Paul believes is an artificial construct. He said it attributes, “malevolent motives to some ordinary things that men do each day that might be rude, that might be a little immature but aren’t necessarily bad or devious in any way.”

Freyne said while some men may not like the term rape culture, it is a real issue for women.

“A lot of young women have grown up with having to deal with predatory behaviour from some men but these men don’t exist in a vacuum. They exist in a culture where seemingly innocent things are leading them to think that it’s OK to behave like this,” he said.

Freyne spoke about the importance of feminism in opening up the possibility for men to talk about their emotions in a way they couldn’t in the past.

Men’s Sheds founder John Evoy said his movement is about providing the public space for just that.

“If we got a few guys and got them to sit around in a circle and asked them to talk about whatever is going on, whether it’s a mental health thing or a social issue, it’s a very quiet room. But if we got a broken lawnmower and threw it up on the bench and everybody’s working on it - you come back after a few hours and everyone knows everything about everyone,” he said.

Tipperary author Donal Ryan spoke to Róisín Ingle on this week’s episode about his new book, All We Shall Know, which is written from the perspective of a pregnant woman.

He also talked about the effects of not being good at sport on male identity in small towns, feminism and consent, saying Louise O’Neill’s book, Asking for It, should be, “required reading for every young fella from 4th year on in school.”

To hear Donal Ryan in conversation with Róisín Ingle and for the full panel debate on mansplaining, #notallmen, rape culture, modern feminism, and more, go to Soundcloud, iTunes, Stitcher and irishtimes.com.

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To add your voice to the How to be a Man series email howtobeaman@irishtimes.com