Househunter: ‘We hope for rot or mouldy carpet, to deter others’

Nine months into our search, we delight in overflowing rubbish or squidgy lino

One Saturday morning after a few unpromising viewings in one area, my boyfriend and I were walking by another house with a “Now on view” sign outside. It was a beautiful villa-style Victorian redbrick, with an asking price that was way, way out of our league. But we moseyed in for a gander anyway – we can dream, right?

The agent handed us a brochure which described the property, renovated by its architect owner, as “both impressive and distinctive”. Indeed. In the kitchen, glossy interiors magazines were displayed on the counter top and classical music wafted from a speaker in the corner.

We giggled our way around the house, our scruffy runners glaringly out of place among the much better heeled viewers dressed up for the occasion, who were oohing over the baby grand piano, ahhhing at the replica chandeliers, and fantasising about sitting at their own table in that kitchen looking out at the landscaped garden, surrounded by their own paintings hanging on those walls.

It was a gorgeous house, no question; way too gorgeous for us. We couldn’t even in our wildest dreams imagine it being ours. It was a world away from any other properties we’ve viewed over the past nine months, which are more likely to be verging on dereliction, or cluttered with the belongings of soon-to-be-evicted tenants.

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Other friends have similar rental worries; afraid to report leaks, or paying for repairs

A friend texted me this week, asking how our search was going and wishing on our behalf for the market to flood with new houses for sale – “please not my house though, I fear our landlord is going to pull the plug”.

Other friends have similar rental worries; afraid to report leaks, or paying for repairs and new furniture themselves in case the landlord ups the rent or worse still, decides to sell.

Recently The Irish Times published daily stories from readers about their experiences of renting in the current housing crisis, telling of illegal rent hikes, landlords demanding two months' rent in advance, overpriced heating bills, broken furniture and unfinished repairs, and living in constant fear of receiving notice that the landlord is putting the property on the market.

The latest Daft.ie rental report, published last week, shows rents across the country are higher now than they have ever been, jumping almost 12 per cent on average in the last year. But with property prices rising at a similar rate, in the “up and coming” areas we can (just about) afford, landlords can also make a princely profit from selling off.

A significant proportion of the properties we have viewed recently are rentals, some occupied by six people or more, either together in a house-share or divided into flats and bedsits.

Unmade beds, overflowing ashtrays, unflushed toilets and carpets strewn with dirty socks and discarded pyjamas: we’ve seen it all in some rental properties, as if the tenants, desperate to keep hold of their homes or delay an inevitable sale for just a little longer, are determined to leave the detritus of their lives strewn around the place in active protest.

Of the four flats in a house we recently went to see, we looked around just two. The tenant in one had double locked the door and refused to grant the agent access for the viewings, while in another, a woman sat at her kitchen table watching on while potential bidders wandered around, whispering about how dark it was and pointing out the mould blooming on the ceiling.

Nothing turns you into a green-eyed monster quite like a house hunt

We left without viewing the last flat, our hearts on the floor at the prospect of a buyer displacing these tenants evidently desperate to hang on to their homes, despite the glaringly sub-standard conditions.

About nine months into our house hunt, we now selfishly delight at the sight of overflowing rubbish, untidy bedrooms, greying cups of half-drunk tea; anything that might make rival bidders wrinkle their noses and walk away. We hope for mouldy carpets, squidgy lino, or even evidence of a bit of rot or a cracked wall if it deters some of the competition. Until, that is, you think of who has been living in these conditions, and how you might be displacing someone from their home by trying to make it your own.

Nothing turns you into a green-eyed monster quite like a house hunt. No matter how immune to jealousy you may usually be, looking for a home to buy will inevitably make you desirous of property and possessions you will never be able to afford, and envious of your rival bidders who earn more than you ever will.

But some of the viewings have also brought us right back down to earth, and made us realise just how lucky we are to be in a position to (at least trying to) buy, rather than living in below-par accommodation in fear of a rent hike, or eviction.